Shout Outs

Monday Afternoon Shout Outs Go To:

Kelly and the SF girls for showing up in my town, drinking some good Belgian beers and one that was just atrocious that Kelly was tough enough to finish (first time I've ever sent a beer back....I feel like less of a woman) and all in all having a grand ol' time. Next time I'll go to SF.

Clinton Portis for posting ridiculous numbers against NFC East foes while on the road. I haven't been this excited about the Redskins since 1992.

Hatcher, Alana and Liz for helping me get this whole London/Paris trip together. Two days, suckas. Whoa. Can I just tell you, blogging public, how excited I am to fumble around Paris with Hatcher for two days!? I mean really. Best idea ever.

Bjork, for writing the genius that is "Venus As a Boy" because it was in my head when I woke up today and man, that makes for a good morning.

Robin, for enduring a 43 hour labor in pursuit of expunging Ruby from her innards. She succeeded with an assist from that trusty ol' C-Section and now I wish rest for the new mom and dad and a long blessed life for Ruby!

Rita, for being brave enough to embark on a journey with the ghosts of Past Lives, Present Hopes and Expectant Futures...and, most importantly, the sidekick that is Texas. Miss ya friend!

A Series of Sentences That Have Nothing To Do With Each Other

Yesterday morning I saw three hot air balloons floating in the cloudless blue above the just-starting-to-turn Smokies and I sighed and was in love.

When Tina Fey's Palin made fun of people playing drinking games with the VP debate I laughed because I was guilty of that.

I leave for London and Paris in three days and I am stressed about travel.

My father and stepmom came to AVL on Thursday night for dinner and didn't meet a single of my friends and it breaks my heart to have had them here without knowing it as I do.

My youngest sister turns 15 on Wednesday and I suddenly feel creaky and unbearably old.

I believe there is a timelessness to "Find the River" by R.E.M., the last cut on "Automatic for the People"

My summer shoe collection is much more extensive and feminine than my winter shoe collection.

I feel like all I do in conversations is tell stories, like all I am is just a bundle of stories...maybe I am and maybe that isn't necessarily a bad thing.

My friend Paul sent me the following text: "Do a search for 'ferret' & 'hat' under google images sometime. I won't tell you how the subject was broached initially." and I burst out laughing without even doing the search (which is very funny) because it was just so bizarre and typical.

I have been needing more time alone lately than normal, and I normally need a lot of alone time.

Why is it that blogger (which is owned by Google) doesn't recognize the word "google" and just started to recognize "blog"?
(mystery solved...capitalize Google and it's all well and good)

Lastly, this is what I look like when I do an impression of Seth, my dear friend (and a 260lb man)...now that I know what I look like when I'm thinking uber fat man, I'm a little creeped out.

There are 435 Members of the House

I believe in nerds.
I believe in the power of nerd-dom, the glory of geeks basking in their knowledge of the arcane.
And one of the most important places for nerds to show their stuff is politics. Politics should not be run by the cheerleader, the jock, the emo band kid. Politics should go to the smartest know-it-all in the room, the one who has the capacity to retain the information crucial to making a decision and the ability to stand behind that decision. Politics should not be a popularity contest, who seems to be the candidate most like your average American because your average American is a moronic jackass who can't tell you where New York City is on a map and doesn't know how many Representatives there are in Congress. Your average American has no business stepping up to bat with the leaders of the world.
Maybe I'm crazy and elitist but the person running my country shouldn't be someone I completely understand. They have to make decisions that effect the entire world; millions of peoples lives are in their hands. I don't really want that person to be someone I can relate to, I want them to be someone so much more intelligent and informed and calm than me that I probably wouldn't know what to talk to them about.
Which is precisely why I thought the VP debate last night was a joke. It was like watching LaBron James play a 10-year old in tether ball. Biden was hitting point after point around Palin's head and she was waiving her arms madly, pretending like she hit it. But she winked and was cute and used phrases like "Joe Six-Pack" and "Doggone it" and ergo she's an average American and she'll get votes. How in the world is she being taken seriously? She sounds like Bobby's mom from "Bobby's World". It's like Lois from "Family Guy" in a battle of wits against the brains of Kit, the Knight Rider car. This is ridiculous.

(I woke up this morning thinking about Sarah Vowell's 2002 essay "The Nerd Voice" from her book The Partly Cloudy Patriot and had to reread it later in the day. The book itself is highly recommended during an election year. Her new release, The Wordy Shipmates comes out on Tuesday)

Update on Thud

Thank you to everyone who offered prayers for my little nephew Thud. I got an email update from my sister, telling me that they went back to the doctor to make sure there wasn't anything injured and the only sign of any problem was minor bruising on his torso.

That's it. This is Thud (with one of his brothers, his sister and friend) the day after the fall:

It's not even as bad as my sister's toe, which is straight up broken.
This is a photo of the back of their house to give a perspective of how far he fell (top window to the deck):
This is the view from the window to the deck...and he broke NOTHING. He literally hit the deck. Astounding. I get the shakes just thinking about it.

Find Me Home

I love maps.
I am genetically bound to love maps; I come from a long line of hobbyist and professional mappers. As soon as I learned to read words I learned to read a map. I started as the navigator for family trips when I was probably 7 or 8. I just can't stop staring at maps. I used to have stationary made of old topo maps. I am that bad.
My grandfather is credited with being one of the inventors of the 3D relief (topographic) map during WWII; I have rather fond memories of the old foam models of much of SE Asia hanging on the walls in my grandparents' basement. Talking to him about maps was learning another way to communicate. I just love how much information can be translated through something so straightforward as a map, like it is a cartographic Rosetta Stone.
Just as I have an undying love of maps, I have an uninhibited disgust of GPS systems.
I think they are lazy, insulting, and encourage and even enable people to be more helpless. Learn to read a map, you moron. Learn the cardinal directions, figure out which way you are facing, and save yourself. Maps aren't getting their credit, shiny new GPS is taking away all of their thousands of years of thunder.
And with that I have a confession...I went to visit my father and stepmother on Monday night and was driving home yesterday and took a wrong turn. I had been looking at maps all day with my dad (to plan out their week) so I knew basically where I was, but I have a navigator program on my phone I've never used and thought this was the time to check it out. Yes, a GPS device.
I have become what I despise.
Observations:
(1) Creepy how my phone new exactly where I was. Very big brother.
(2) It was distracting having a screen to look at to tell me where to go; my eye was drawn to it repeatedly, thus I am too ADD to use such a program.
(3) There was something comforting about being able to tell my phone to find me a way home and it did. I felt a bit like a child crying "I wanna go home!"

I like having a map function but the GPS was a bit too much. I don't need that much hand holding. So there is my compromise I guess. I can save myself, just need a little nudging.