High Chair

I mean...I laughed. Pretty hard actually. Cuz it's funny. Probably likes to go see movies in 3D and eat whoppers and hot tamales....or something.
(from Shoeboxblog.com which you still need to check out)

Dodge These Bullets

• With the addition of the queen sized bed (thank you Leslie) I bought two new pillows. In other news, I'm still domesticated and mildly boring.

• Our Quizzo team finally won a pitcher for the best team name. This only took 7 months. And before you ask, yes, yes I do have friends. That I don't pay. Much.

• What ever happened to that cute girl from “Northern Exposure” with the mole and who could do that eye brow lift thing? The one opposite Aidan (I'm sorry even 5 years before “Sex and the City” John Corbett was Aidan. He still is. Always will be. That Aidan gets around) up in Alaska? Where the heck has she gone?

• Riding high on the lazy river-like tsunami of confidence from the McSweeney's print, Easter afternoon I got to seriously delve into some writings and I actually finished a short story. “Story” is a loose description, it's really a very stylized monologue from an old woman living on the coast in Maine. I like it, but I'm the only person who has ever read it. Time will tell whether it is any good or just adjective-heavy word vomit. Sometimes I feel like a Chimp playing with his own poop. Some may call it art, others call it “Hey, that monkey is playing with his poop,” while the monkey is thinking, “Wheeee!”. How's that for an artist's statement of purpose.

• Lately I've been stuck on the song “Sons and Daughters” by the Decemberists. I've had this song for over a year, but it's got new life. I heart Colin Meloy. He go wit his nerd self. Only person I know that can use words like “dirigible”, “Legionnaire”, “indolent” and “colonnade” in songs and still sound earnest.

• Friday night I had a very vivid dream that I was thrown into running a trail race that I hadn't trained for. In the dream it was a 7 mile race and I was three miles in and breathing hard. That's when I woke up having an asthma attack. I don't know if the attack spawned the dream or vice versa, but while I wasn't breathing I marveled at my subconscious' imagination. If I'm ever not breathing ask me where my inhaler is and I'll try to tell you. Or just yell “Does anyone have an albuterol inhaler!?” and maybe someone will throw one at you.

• Murphy and Romano: two days. Bad Idea Girls take on the Dirty South. Look for highlights. There will be many I'm sure.

• I got an email from Nat the other detailing how her drive back to her house was interrupted by a cow giving birth on her road. It got out of the fence and was giving birth, right there in the road. That is the part of my hometown that I truly miss. That sort of thing isn't exactly abnormal and part of some of my most fond memories. Being stuck behind cows was a normal excuse for being late to school.

• I don't think I've loved my family more than I do right now. After the McSweeney's thing, I got a voicemail from my mom that said, “It's mom, I just wanted to let you know that I'm thinking of you and I'm proud of you. I love you, bye bye.” I cried a little bit, saved the message and now look forward to having it come up every few weeks. This message is a miracle. A true, heaven sent, blind man can see, deaf man can hear sort of miracle. I am so thankful for it.

• So the question about the obligation of citizenship that you all did a fine job of not answering is becoming an essay on its own. And if its any good and it goes anywhere, I'll make a point to not reference you. No no don't feel like you need to thank me. I know I'm gracious.

• Still don't get the obsession over fancy handbags. Don't get it. It must be how gay men feel about women. Sure they are nice and all but nope, not feeling anything either way.

It is a Good Friday

And...

I GOT A LIST PUBLISHED IN MCSWEENEY'S.

MC-FREAKIN-SWEENEY'S.

Awesome.

Citizenship

Josh and I are having a strongly-worded email discussion on politics and, more specifically, citizenship. He is a Libertarian who is strongly against most social programs and income taxation; I'm a liberal who believes social programs benefit the society as a whole. The emails are just flying back and forth. It's like the Matalin-Carville household sometimes.
The discussion really centers around these two questions:

What do you think are the obligations of citizenship, if they indeed exist?
What is a citizen to give to its country in exchange for structure, peace, safety, etc?

My thinking is this country gave us the opportunity to live somewhere where electricity, heat and water are subsidized and available, where schools are open and free to any kid around, where roads are maintained and safe, crime is dealt with, fires are put out, hospitals are open, political power is checked and rechecked and jobs are plentiful. This country gave us standards to keep our air and our water at levels where they won't slowly kill us (well...maybe they will), parks and museums to see the wonders of creation and beauty of life, standards to keep our investments safe, places to go when there isn't anywhere else. Your country will most likely ask you for nothing more than your vote and some money in return. I don't see this as a moralistic standard but a civic one.

What about you? What do you think are the obligations of citizenship?

Happy Good Friday. Jesus: Thanks for dying today. I mean that.

Car Talk

Sooo....cleaned out my car yesterday. Like not only cleaned it but vacuumed it, something I haven't done in...well...a very, very long time. I think my car is a few dozen pounds lighter.
Observations:
* I found 14 pens in various places in my car. 13 of them worked fine. I guess my greatest fear is not having a pen when I need one.
* I have something like 9 different maps in my car, and that includes my atlas (yes Robin I own an atlas), and a "Rochester and Vicinity" mapbook. Cuz I need that. Down here in Asheville.
* Even while just vacuuming my car I managed to cut myself. On what I don't know.
* Also: 12 matchboxes/matchbooks. Why?

In other news:
* Broke my old filling on a triscuit last night. I don't know what to do about it. I have no dental apoxy and/or dental insurance, so i guess it'll stay broken for a while.

Anyway, I'm housesitting on the west side til late Friday and that means regular internetting, so woohoo. And such.