Monday, January 27, 2003
Standing Correct or the Best out of n?
In my communications workshop on friday my professor gave us a sitation. "Suppose that you are in a relationship," he said. " and suppose that you really liked this person and one day you asked them, if you were their best decision or the correct one. Which would you want to hear them say?" Hmm...toughie. I immediately wanted to say "why the best decision of course!" but then I realized I needed definitions before I could make a decision--what was the difference between best decisions and correct ones? I guess to me a correct decision suggests a finite outcome--either A or B, not degrees of it. You are either correct, or you are incorrect. That simple. Best decisions, however, are on a spectrum; there are varying degrees of A, B and endless others. But what would I rather be: the cut and dried correct one, or the best out of a possible pool? To me, best suggests that the search continues--that I could be correct for now, but I'm not Correct (as in The correct one). I never want to be in a committed relationship where I am the right now and not the right one. However to be the correct decision suggests that it is all logic that brings my significant other to that point--that rationally I make sense, but emotionally I may be subpar. Reminds me a bit of arranged marriages--it might be the correct choice for that woman to make when thinking of her family, her future, etc but does not leave room for the decisions or inputs the heart might suggest. Not that I ever listen to my heart when it does speak up, but that is a sidetrack. So would I rather be a correct decision or a best one? I don't plan to settle until I'm both. Just because I'm not searching now doesn't mean that I'm not going to settle at some time. What would you want to be? How do you decide? I am a logic person--a "correct decision" type of person, and it has protected me numerous times and brought me safely to happiness. But that is what it has been: safe. And ultimately, extreme safety brings the feeling of regret. Just a thought.