News #1: I officially have internet at home again, so I can officially update this more than once every random increment of time. It's totally foreign to me, this whole internet thing. It'll take me a while to ease back into it.
So We're 1/4 of the way through 2006, and it's time for a grade report.
Basically, 2006 only receives a passing grade because of these things: .....I have no idea why it receives a passing grade. It's just because I'm a soft grader, and it was 85 that one weekend in February. This past month has been the hardest of my life, no doubt. Lots of fear and powerlessness and chaos and turmoil and heartache and general crap, and I wish I could say it was just happening in my life, but it's more in the lives of those around me, particularly family. Through it all I've been learning a lot about peace and joy, especially the latter. What is joy anyway, and should it be independent of life situations? I do not think joy is merely a synonym for happiness; it is more of a way of life rather than a feeling in it. The ability to step outside of a circumstance and not despair, the connect between chaos and quiet. But I don't know, I'm learning about it, I don't actually feel knowledgeable either way.
I wish I had more to post, but that's where I'll leave this one. I'm easing back into it. But now I'm here to stay, hopefully for a while.
2 comments:
I hope you get to the joy part soon.
It's definitely something, I believe, that is separate from what is "going on." It's more like a state of being that transcends that which is "happening to you."
Moving to SF might help.
Oh wait, that contradicts my above-mentioned point.
oh, and it's "astra," without the "e."
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