The Following, The Progress

This past weekend my roommate and I had our annual Swanky Christmas party (I wrote about it once). 2010 was my fourth year hosting one (Jane’s sixth) and putting it together has become a familiar process—decorations, lights, furniture movements, purchases and requisite cleaning—so the stress level has decreased dramatically, even as the cost has risen. We had time to reflect a little bit on the purpose of the event. Part of the fun of the party is dressing to the nines and having some of our dearest friends over to get ready together. I rarely dress to impress; it requires way too much time and energy and I don’t care enough about my appearance to do it except in rare instances. But once a year the Swanky party comes around and all is on the table. I love to see the dresses and tuxes that come through the door, as if my friends and I were all bringing our bests together; the Voltron of beauty. Often I feel for first-time attendees who, in the day and age of dress casual, don’t quite get the true concept of elegance attached to the party. They stand out and not in a good way. This year, I went for a dramatic look. I wore the shortest dress I’ve ever worn (or probably ever will wear), dramatic makeup, upswept hair and big eyelashes. In a way, I transformed and I felt abnormally good about it. I didn’t do it for anyone (there wasn’t anyone at the party I particularly wanted to impress or attract) but rather because I could. The experience of transformation was my favorite part; to feel progress as if I got prettier with each step. At the end I felt like I shined, a feeling I haven’t had all year.

(Told you it was short! Blue lips due to a ring pop)

I don’t get to feel progress much.

My essay that got me into Syracuse was about slugs; how when watched closely they seem to make no progress, but how, when left be, the distance they cover is remarkable. This was a year of slugs.

I’m finalizing my annual best and worst list and marveling at the changes that occurred. I’ve lost friendships and habits but gained even more in a way so slight I didn’t feel them occur. In January I hoped that sweetness would follow the darkness that colored much of the year. In December death has not yet let me be. But sweetness has, for the most part, followed.

Best and Worst of 2k8

Here it is, dear readers: the summary of the year that was (at least in my life). It's time to give out the best and worst awards for the 2008 season. Events: just be honored you were remembered. A lot of events don't even get that chance.

Worst/Weirdest Holiday: New Years 2008.

Key: A night meant to be low key starts with martinis and SNL review and then shifts to “WHAT!?” night with a South African UN pilot, a literal party bus and a stop at Jacks. Whadda way to start a year.

Best Hungover Activity: New Years Day 2008.
Key: Wes invites Robin, Jane and I to play on the segways at the chamber of commerce.

Best ending to the best ruse I've ever managed to pull off:
Preface: Hatcher never wanted to meet my friend Paul. She'd heard so many wonderful stories about him that she thought he'd never live up to the hype and thus chose to actively try to not meet him, even while they lived in the same town and had a few friends in common. Paul and I thought this could not be. So in November 2005 I secretly had Hatcher and Paul hang out for an entire night without Hatcher ever realizing who he was (we gave him the alias “Pete Griffin” from 'Family Guy') and had an entire room of our friends play along (big shout out to KK, Maskey, Grafto, and Hollaback), calling him “Pete” the whole night. Poor KK met him as Pete and we didn't get to tell her the truth til after Hatch left. At one point during the night Hatch said, “Spooner, your friend Pete is hilarious! Why haven't I hung out with him sooner?” I told her it was because he was only in town for one night. Giggle. By the next summer Paul had moved to Wisconsin and Hatch thought herself victorious, never meeting Paul.

Jump ahead to the very tail end of 2007, two years later. I finally get the courage to tell Hatcher the truth, that she had actually met, hung out and LIKED Paul, that we introduced him under an alias and it had gone swimmingly. She burst out laughing. She didn't remember the night but was so impressed that the ruse had lasted as long as it did. In the long run I guess we both won. Hatch doesn't remember actually meeting him and I can say for certain that they did meet and she liked him. All's well that ends well. Best ruse ever.

Worst Wardrobe Malfunction: Alana and David's wedding, Weaverville, NC May.
Key: My strapless dresses zipper breaks as I step out of the car to walk into the wedding. Leslie tries to fix it and instead makes it worse. “Run. Run, Spooner. Run home and change; there is no hope for this dress.” (and I loved Natalie Knauer's “You don't have a spare dress in your car?”) and thus I speed out the front door of the church holding my dress together. Awesome.

Best “That's what she said” moment: Margarita's couch, Asheville, November.
Key: Margarita had wedged her beer bottle into the couch cushions and it was listing slightly, we both grabbed the bottle at the same time to keep it from spilling only to have it spill all over me. I said, “That's what I was trying to prevent and that's what just went all over my butt” and she fell off the couch laughing.

Best Concert Experience: Three Girls and Their Buddy, Asheville, January
Key: Robin and I splurge and see Emmylou Harris, Patty Griffin, Shawn Colvin and Buddy Miller play an acoustic round-robin set that sent shivers down my spine. Such beauty.

Best Team Name: The No Talent Ass Clowns, Nate and Anthony's dart team at Barley's Tap Room, March.
Key: It was about 6 hours into the 11 hour tour and they did end up defeating the Hot Bizzos quite handily.

Best Holiday: Fourth of July, Asheville.
Key: BBQ and water balloon fight at Clark and Nancy's house followed by a trip to the Shop to sit on the roof and feel the fireworks rumple. The night didn't end until past 1am and it was just one of those times where life gets perfect for a moment.

Best Spontaneous Trip: Fleeing to Charleston, SC for one day, April.
Key: Katie, Margarita and I forgo other obligations to spend 8 hours in the car to lay on the beach for 5. Standing at the Battery, smelling the ocean after dinner with Squirrel...then guilty Liz Phair sing-a-long on the way home.

Best Not-Holiday Holiday: Valentines, Schmalentines with Doug, The Biltmore Estate.
Key: Doug and I have not-Valentines Day fun tooling around the Biltmore Estate before a picnic at the lagoon (no wine corker so...leatherman! Floating cork!) and then the wine tour. The day doesn't end until 10pm and I'm reminded how much fun we have.

Best Competition: Sangria-palooza, West Asheville, June.
Key: Four kinds of sangria, four kinds of liquor for each, taste tests and everyone wins. Margarita gets double points for making hers with moonshine. Also: I bring giant steak that almost kills me.

Worst Weird Injury: My Lifetime Movie Channel bruise, Asheville, May.
Key: Playing cups with friends and frisbee strikes my left forearm so forcefully I had a literal welt and kept a bag of frozen peas on it the rest of the party. Looked like I was beaten.

Best/Worst Project: The tiling of the floor, Jane's House, Asheville, most of the year.
Key: Started the kitchen and hall in June. Finished in December. Speed isn't a strong suit of my home improvement skills.

Best Visitors: Murphy and Caroline come to AVL, March.
Key: Oh jeez. Bad Idea Girls take on the dirty soouf. “Woohoo! This will not suck!” “Good ol' Muffintop! Muffintop, Tennessee!” Gunticles. The 22oz of PBR for Kings. The 11 Hour Beer Tour with Nate, Cara, Anthony and Margarita and the other characters who roamed in and out.

Best Not Celebrity Run in: The Eli Manning Doppelganger, Jack of the Wood, March
Key: Caroline, while blatantly flashing her engagement ring, getting hit on relentlessly by Eli Manning look-a-like during the final 2-3 hours of the 11 hour beer tour.

Worst Departure, Person: Rita Marroquin moves back to Austin, September.
Key: After 8 years Rita goes home and all of AVL wonders what to do in her place. She is sorely missed!

Best Futile Effort to Get Adults to Focus: Attempting Trivial Pursuit at Rita's Martini Party, Asheville, July.
Key: The group was several martinis in, Rita didn't know what was going on, Nate looked like a J.Crew model and Margarita did eventually lose her pants.

Best span of 48 hours: Running around Paris with Erin, France, October.
Key: “We are young and happy!”, Jeff in IT and Stacey, “Escargot? More like Escar-GREAT!”, surrendering to the French Police when he just wanted to give us roses, the Cafe in the Tuleries, Satire doesn't translate well into Hebrew, Pulling on a wine bottle on our picnic at the Rodan, The bunkbed of death. That whole trip could be it's own page of bests.

Best Wedding Moment: Bridesmaids and Jess, Liz and Phil's Flat, London, October.
Key: Three bridesmaids sitting on the edge of a bathtub, soaking our tired feet and passing around a bottle of champagne.

Best Day: August 5, Hot Springs, NC and Cradle of Forestry, NC.

Key: Katherine and I head to Hot Springs, to lay in the river for the afternoon. Go home, change, and head out on a trip with Jonathan to Mt. Pisgah where we sipped wine, talked, watched the sunset then put the cushions on the ground and looked at the stars. It was close to perfect.

Worst Ending of a Streak: My first speeding ticket, Albemarle County, VA, September.

Key: I had never even been pulled over before and I was actually excited. Then the cop and I talked about weddings and baby showers for five minutes. Also: managed to get another speeding ticket on Christmas Eve. Super.

Best New Tradition: Bouchon All You Can Eat Mussels night, Asheville, Summer.

Key: Delicious mussels, Nate and Margarita, a bottle of muscadet, summer in the city.

Best Lists:

Dangerous Breakfast Cereals (Alpha Bits-of-broken-glass)

Potentially Embarrassing Songs on your iPod

Dramatic Movies made funnier had they starred Tom Cruise in place of Tom Hanks (think: Philadelphia)

American Car or American Gladiator (Woohoo McSweeneys)

Best Moment During Endless Presidential Campaign: VP Debate Drinking game, all over, September.
Key: Friends from across the country texting and drinking on words and phrases like, “You betcha”, “Maverick”, “Joe Six-Pack”, “Scranton” and “Ya know”.

Best Homemade gift: My birthday cards from the Birch girls, Paris VA, May.
Key: two phrases: “I know Spanish OK” and, of course, “Tony I am Tony”.

Moment I was proudest of my country: November 4^th, 2008.
Key: Watching people of all ages be that inspired and hopeful and teary-eyed, dancing in the streets, hugging, yelling in joy. Also: it as Andrew's birthday so that was a fun too.

Most Improved Holiday: My Birthday, West Asheville, May.
Key: playing cups, grilling out, laughing at my friends, a bag of bugles, a secret side trip, feeling loved.

Best Idea that actually became a reality: Road trip to Canada with Jonathan, August.
Key: over 20 hours in the Westy to spend two days in Canada. The afternoon spent wandering around Pittsburgh, the campsite on the shore of Lake Ontario, waking up to the New River Gorge, laughing hysterically while getting soaked on the Maid of the Mist at Niagara Falls, just one of the best trips I've ever taken. Also seeing the sign “Christian Warho” and then joking about what a Wareho would be.

Best Text Message (tie): “I think of Taps every time I eat popcorn or throw up in a bush.” -Caroline.
“I kinda just want to get drunk, dress up like a fairy and throw glitter on people. But I want to do that pretty much every day.” --Margarita, talking about Halloween.

Best Story That Didn't Happen to Me but is Nonetheless Hilarious: Doug's bicycle road-rage incident.
Key: Just read it here. Amazing.

Benign and Yet Incredibly Odd Moment of the Year: The gas crisis in September, waiting in the queue for 45 minutes to pay almost $5/gal, the creepiness of seeing cars abandoned for want of gasoline. All of Asheville shut down because no one had gasoline.

Favorite Daily Entertainment: Prank War at Work with Andrea and Andrew, all year.
Key: started with stickers, then went to bigger stickers, then involved cars, then involved a plastic dinosaur, then involved wrapping a car in seran wrap, fake birthdays and a loaf of bread I am still a little bitter about.

I'd have to say that the almost weekly camping trips I took with Jonathan over the summer were also a huge highlight of my year, as was getting to know Katie Baker, Kelly Lynch's quick AVL stop, having Slappy the weiner-dog for over a month, wandering around London with Stephanie, getting my ass handed to me in Scrabble by Beth Williams, nights spent at the guitar shop playing darts and talking, and much more. I had probably the best year of my life so far in 2008 and I can't wait to see where 2009 takes me.

Quotes:
“I'm gonna eat the shit out of these pickles.” --Margarita to herself, Quizzo, January (about her fried pickles)
“Hold my coat, he loves Jesus.”--New Years
“Isn't your email address Ihaveaclawfoottub@ashevillesingles.com?” Wait...a conflict tub? What is a conflict tub? --Me and Nate
“Why does it have to be the American Indians? Why can't it be the Mexican Indians? I mean we wore shoes...” --Margarita, on Moccasins.
“Fine. They are playing your favorite song right now but if they play “She's like the wind” you are dead.” --Doug trying to psyche me out while playing darts in newspaper pirate hats.
Frumpy is the new black
32 is the new 25
Ham: It's like meat cake.

Best and Worst of 2k7

Here it is, dear readers: the summary of the year that was (at least in my life). It's time to give out the best and worst awards for the 2007 season. Events: just be honored you were nominated.

Most Interesting Concert:
Awkward Ben Kweller show, August at the Grey Eagle with Katherine
Key: Being some of the oldest people there..and drinking a Nantucket Nectar while being glared at by the under-21 crowd.

Most Fascinating Holiday:
Coon Dog Day, Saluda, NC with Jane, Chris and Caroline
Key: James peeing off the boat house in front of everyone, some sweet G&Ts, literal dancing in the streets, a holiday dedicated to coon dogs. Like ya do.

Best Wedding/Weekend:
Dylan and Amanda, April, HighLAND Forest Tulley, NY.
Key: Bad Idea Girls in action/Taps Week Reunion, Leah Flynn at Taps (“Everyone should get a Paps...I'm just sayin'”), The easter egg hunt in the snowstorm, best bachelor party I've ever been to, duct tape genius flask holders, solid chocolate bunnies, and of course “You thought I was getting married at an ESF biological research station!?”

Most Random Night Out While Vacationing:
HOTARD Bus night, June, DC with Murphy, Jonas, Des, Caroline and Sean
Key: Trivial Pursuit and Schafer at the Pug, The HOTARD bus, the tower of power, throwing a pen in Sean's eye, etc. I mean really. The random nights are the best with that group (I am reminded of “THIS IS HOW THE OTHER HALF LIVES! That is a FAKE FICAS!” from days of yore).

Most Random Night Out While Staying in Town:
Downtown After Five with Yo' Mamma's Big Fat Booty Band morphing into an all night affair involving salsa dancing, G&Ts and bootydancing at a dessert restaurant at 1am, September, Asheville with Jane, Nate, John and cast
Key: I was in carharrts, learning to salsa dance at an Indian restaurant, Dr Dan's cameo, the Steve Winwood shirt, Ending up at Temptations the next night as well. Awesome.

Worst Loss, Inanimate Object (tie):
Doc's Little Gem Diner, September, Syracuse, NY.
Key: It's the frickin' Little Gem. It has never locked its doors since 1955 and it has to close cuz of a fire. Communists are behind it.

Old Dominion Brewing Company, Ashburn, VA
Key: Anheuser-Busch. The bastards killed ODB. No ODB fest, the OBS tastes like poo, no more brewery tours, effectively killing something that was once so pure and unmolested...well, as much as a brewery can be pure and unmolested.

Worst Health Run-in:
Collapsing at the Gillian Welch concert, February, Orange Peel, Asheville, NC
Key: Stupid Hyper-hypo. Katherine turning around saying, “Where did Spooner go?” and finding me in a pile on the floor. “I'm not drunk! I'm not drunk!” the rock star nurse who saved me, stealing Gillian Welch's juice.

Best Voicemail:
Erin Hatcher, Jenny Steele's bachelorette party, June, Virginia Beach, VA
Key: You'd have to hear it, but it does involve a favorite Beach Boys song and yelling “JERK!” at the right moment. I have it saved on my phone and it makes my day every time it comes up.

Worst Holiday:
My birthday, Memorial day weekend, Asheville/Raleigh.
Key: Freshly fired from internship, Seth and I go out way too late the night before, run into Lewis Black, am too hungover to think about giant breakfast, have to drive 4 hours home on hangover, not getting to see family, only friends in town not working that day: 2 (Though Andy and Katherine did make me a very sweet meal). In bed by 10. Here's to you, 26.

Best Pet:
Scape the Goat, Josh Yeatman's yard, July, Black Mountain, NC
Key: An unneutered, 1-year old male goat wearing a bark collar and running on a dog lead who snores, stands on things and once had the cops called on him for incessant screaming. Yup, best/stupidest pet. Not since Goodman and DC got the “potbellied” pig in college has a pet made me scratch my head and laugh like Scape did.

Best New Game:
Rootball, Rootbar #1, Swannaowa, NC
Key: Think bocce mated with horseshoes. Seeing Jane and Emily win a game with a ringer, Katherine and I trash talk Andy and a stranger, “free roast?”, watching Josh get pissed I wasn't taking the game seriously, the gospel/jam band, watching Robin and Liz interact: priceless.

Most Improved Holiday:
St. Patrick's Day, March, DC
Key: Normally this is my worst holiday of the year (God knows I'm not Irish) but this year it was Funterns Take DC and I was in a tiny bar in Adams-Morgan with a crazy herd of SU/ESF people and my roommates and Joyce made T-shirts. Awesome. 'Sanne and Julie's said, “Spooner's Roommate #1 and #2”

Best Reunion:
Adventure Links 10-year Reunion, June, Paris, VA
Key: All-star friends and co-workers: Hillacious D, Elena, Doodle, Dave, Dan, Dave K, Laura, Mario, Scott, Helen, Jess, Emma, Brian, Jason, Anna, Austin and on and on. And no Negativo, Mumbles, Two Cents or Adam and Tiffany. Way too much fun for such a short period of time. Dancing to “Stuck in the Middle With You” with the original 2001 crew really was a highlight.

Best Sidetrip:
Biltmore McDonald's with Kristina
Key: “I heard all about it on the Food Network!”, she was seriously excited, The grand Wulitzer piano, the fireplace. In a McD's. Awesome.

Best Birthday Party (Tie):
Robin's karaoke/wings night, August, Asheville, NC
Key: “The Greatest Love of All” as preformed by Robin, with backing by Caroline, Jane and myself, a truly horrible rendition of “Come Sail Away” by the Harmon Ladies.

Shaunna's hot dogs and 80s night, March, Asheville, NC
Key: Dave Dail's outfit, as well as Shaunna's glamtastic sweater and silver leggings. Josie and Hadley coming in costume. Oh, and hot dogs. And the Coolio card.

Most Entertaining Brush With the Law:
Alana Bullers, April, Shelby NC going 80 in a 55.
Key: Green rented Taurus b/c our cars too janky to drive. Speeding ticket while listening to Wyclef on our way to Charlotte at 11pm. Awesome.

Best Return:
Whitewater kayaking, June, Asheville, NC with Jane mostly
Key: Hadn't paddled in 4 years, just great to be in a boat again. Also Jane's hot dogs on the river.

Best New Tradition:
Quizzo, every Monday, 8-10:30pm, Jack of the Wood, Asheville, NC. Since July.
Key: Revolving cast that makes up our perpetual 6^th place team, fighting over team names, cursing SmartyPants with the Fist of Indignation, a bake-off in a bar, trying unsuccessfully to make Andrew laugh, getting yelled at by Dan for using the calculator on my phone on a question I still got wrong, the night of the “merkin” conversation, and yet another reason to hate Kenny Lofton. Thanks all team members, especially Margarita, Rita, Dan, Doug, Nate, Jane, Caroline, Robin and all the rest who make guest appearances!

Best Drinking Game (Tie):
Schlong game, pretty much everywhere, all year.
Key: As taught by Jenny Steele, this old stalwart made strong showings after the Taps-That-Ass-A-Thon on Good Friday, The first night of Doppelganger Doug and Dr. Dan at Jack of the Wood, The Beer tour when Jess and Helen came to visit, Camping at Plunge in August, etc. Best ones: “White Man Can't Schlong”, “Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Schlong”, “Schlong Me if You Can”

The Two-Year Presidential Election Drinking Tournament/Game, all over the country
Key: That's exactly it: Started in January of 2007 and will go til November of 2008. It's like the NCAA basketball bracket, but it's with Presidential candidates, and instead of brackets there are categories (“Most likely to drop out first”, “Most likely to drop out due to scandal”, “Most likely to win Iowa”, “Most likely to be endorsed by Chuck Norris” etc) basically it's an excuse for my nerd friends to send out links to news articles with the word “DRINK!” in the same email. Well done to the founders (here's to us, Murphy).

Friend of the Year:
Caroline McGlade.
Key: She let me move in with her and Chris with about two hours notice and let me stay for three weeks and found me a roommmate. That's a good friend. “Aww look...wings...and beer...again,”, Yatzee night, rap sung as opera, “Knick knack paddy wack lock you in the mango room.”, songs about Homer, etc.

Biggest Surprise:
Sudden boyfriend, July, Asheville.
Key: it's me--that doesn't happen often. I'm picky and impatient. Brief, brilliant, thanks for coming, enjoy the veal. See? I told you I wasn't asexual. Truly was unexpected.

Best Waste of a Day:
Robin and Spooner kill and entire day “unpacking” Robin's new house, Swannaowa, October
Key: Super Nintendo All Stars, Pecan Pocket Pies from the “drawer”, PBR in a can, a “ghost in the house”, uncontrollable giggles, “Shut up and tell me another funny story,” getting very little done and loving it. And then there was the 3D Seamonsters/Sonic day...Robin is the best Loafing partner EVER.

Best Visitor:
I love any and all visitors. You should be one too, but there is a winner: Liz Watkins.
Key: Harry Potter books at Midnight, drum circle, rootball, eating while not talking, getting to see my BFF after a year and a half, Nashville in half a day, watching Robin and Liz interact. Seriously, it's astounding.

Best Care Package:
Leslie's assignment care package, lovingly prepared by Robin and Spooner, July
Key: Glass Jesus candle, potted meat, Misty cigarettes, 4 bottles o' fun, BFF socks, absolutely nothing useful. And she opened it in front of summer staffers. Suckas.

Most Random Daytrip:
Driving to Clemson with Robin to surprise her brother on his 21^st birthday, November
Key: We didn't know how to get to Clemson or where he lived once we got there (“You actually own an ATLAS!?”), $3.75 pitcher of Yuengling, the Brandt phone call, the carbomb race, the dorito crushing fight, being on our way home by 8:15. Awesome. Happy 21^st Ben.

Best Text Message:
Leslie's lesson the morning after the Swanky Holiday Party, December, Asheville
Key: “Thank you all for reminding me I should never drink liquor again.” a sentiment echoed by many, many others. And she meant every word.

Best Kings Rule/Category:
Katherine's rule making all the boys fashion hats out of aluminum foil that had to be sexual in nature that they had to wear the rest of the night, August, Plunge camping trip.
Key: Ian made his a pope hat and argued successfully for it's phallic undertones, watching Nate wear aluminum foil boobs on his head.

Worst Oversight:
Not being able to see Hatcher enough this year to have her be on this list as much as previous years.
Key: I last saw her in March. But I got great texts about Homeowner Steve at the Waterford Fair. And I heard her Pecan Pie won 3^rd place at the LoCo fair. It's a darn good pie my friends. Darn good.

Best “Celebrity” Run-in:
The firemen on Lexington, 'Sanne's Birthday, March, Asheville, NC
Key: Julie being convinced we were going to get arrested for “interfering with an officer in the line of duty”, the police officers volunteering to take the photos, the really hot firemen giving 'Sanne props to hold, the best introduction to 26 that I can think of.

Best Moment While Working in Maintenance for Three Months:
Re-building the shed around Well B at Windy Gap, August.
Key: Dan (middle-aged, bald, rotund local) is holding a wall up from the outside while the rest of us try to bolt it to the floor. It's about 97 degrees out and he is sweating profusely. Suddenly, out of the hole in the wall that is inches from his face, a snake appears. It sticks its head out of the hole and just stares Dan in the eye, while he is screaming “GET THE SNAKE! GET THE SNAKE!” and he can't move or the wall will fall on him. It really was quite hilarious. And it was a pretty big snake.

Best “What!?” Afternoon (Tie):
The attempted kayaking trip to the Tuck with Jane and Josh, July, somewhere west of Asheville.
Key: Navy woody wagoneer breaks down 40 miles outside of Asheville and only 5 miles from river at Annie's, a convenience store/cafe/biker bar where we are stranded for 4 hours before the most uncomfortable tow truck ride ever. Quote, “Well...I'm getting a beer.” --Josh, 11am.

Borrowing Nathan's Jeep, March, Purcellville, VA
Key: having the Jeep die on the exit ramp at Rt 7/287 in VA, getting gently rammed to the side of the road by a state trooper who didn't want to push me because it was raining and he didn't want to get dirty, having a tow truck guy I've known since kindergarten, having to hug his mom once we got back to the station, remembering I grew up in a SMALL town.

Best Social Gathering:
The Swanky holiday party at the Harmon House, December, Asheville, NC
Key: 50-some friends in various stages of swank converge to drink too many martinis, eat schweaty balls, beagle dicks and other inappropriately named appetizers, dance, mingle and stay up to ridiculous hours of the night. Nate wins as the most swanky (the velvet smoking jacket, ascot and mistletoe hat really put it over the edge) but the bling pops that Doug brought the girls were priceless. And all the text messages the next day really summed it up well. Most started with “I don't really remember but...”

Catch phrases and notable quotes of 2007:
“It's too hot for pants.” --Jane
“This salad is Bigots!” (and the subsequent “Eat your salad, Rosa Parks!”) --Murphy
The Chad DeVoe T-shirts—Joyce, Murphy, et al.
“And Jesus said, 'Zacheus, puff puff give, man!'” --Doug
“Oh sorry...bible joke.” -Me (to Robin)
“Give a shout out....TO JESUS!” --Leah
“I think he's talking about her jugs.” --'Sanne
“I've got a peeping tom and I'm going to have nightmares about zombies. I'm fucked.”--Rita

Also should be noted that 2007 brought my first trip to Dollywood, my first experience with both fried pickles and moonshine, no new nieces and nephews, a new official hometown, my first experience getting robbed, my first experience not quite getting fired, two months of unemployment, my first experience getting dumped, six weddings, two new jobs and tons of new friends. All in all, a great year. Here's to 2007 and I can't wait for '08!