Anticipate

I haven’t posted since I got my new job. I am shocked and appalled by this.

To be fair, I’ve actually written a few blog posts but they are tucked neatly into word documents on my laptop that haven’t yet made it to eyes other than mine.

I wrote four entries for my church’s Lenten devotional and though they were short I was surprised how much they took out of me. And how much I loved writing in that way.
2011 has been quite different that I’d assumed. 2010 was a year of death and loss, but in a way it was predictable—many of those losses I could anticipate, even as I couldn’t fully comprehend their scope.

2011 has been just the opposite. In the first two months of 2011 I got laid off, got a dog and got a new job, three actions I did not expect were I asked on January 1. I’ve begun to at least attempt to do some freelance writing in between but have found my time sucked up by the aforementioned canine and occupation (and I decided to watch the entire series of “Alias” which didn’t help the time suck). Those three sonic booms have drastically shaped my every day.

I didn’t set out to get a dog. She appeared because some friends found her and couldn’t keep her. No one came forward to claim the little 30-lb beagle stray. I named her Patsy Cline. She is what the Cajuns call a lagniappe—a small, unexpected gift—who has blessed me in her own ways. I can’t believe the joy and stability she’s brought. I walk 3-5 miles a day now; I get up at a decent hour and don’t stay out too late. I worry about another life that belongs to me. I love her and that is frightening.

My new job has me traveling to seven cities across North America in the coming months with the potential for more in the future. I love to travel and am thrilled at this addition. I’m ready to get moving again.

Spring is the season of resurrection. Somehow I forget that every year and get waylaid by the senses it brings. This year I’m feeling it more acutely than ever before.

Marathons and Sprints

After several days of warmth and spring hope it is back to the cold gray of late February. I'd actually forgotten spring was coming; I'd gotten so involved in the woodstove and books and hibernating that to come outside and see the optimistic sprigs of daffodils was a literal surprise. This reversion to the cold was expected and yet still manages to be a letdown.

Lately I've been thinking about running. Unemployment is a marathon and not a sprint and I've realized that this is true with most things. We are running marathons. Nothing is a sprint except an actual sprint.

And yet, I think in terms of sprints. I think short-term, I think here and now and do little to consider the future. I do it with relationships, friendships, finances and more; whatever feels good now is what I'll do. I distill my world to 140 character status updates, and do not consider the punctuation marks I use may not be correct. The place I put a period may be where God wanted a semicolon, changing what I thought was an end into merely a pause. I don't look far enough ahead to understand the difference.

The question I struggle with is how am I to learn to live a marathon life in a world that thinks in sprints?

I want to train to pace myself, to work up to the hills and stretch the parts of me that get overworked along the way. I want to understand that the blisters I get are not because I'm a terrible person or a failure, but because I am a person who is running and blisters happen to runners. In the marathon world, I must pay close attention to what I take in and where I'm going. If I'm to run the race marked out for me, training for the long-distance and not the immediate future is the difference between standing at the finish line and giving up before I can see it.

Valentines

Love doesn't look the way we planned it.

I Know the Meaning of Every Word

Preface: This is totally dumb but it was fun to make up. Call it a strange writing exercise. I decided I'd take words, break them down into other words then base the definition of the original word on that. So now I can know the meaning of every word, even as they are entirely wrong. Happy weekend.

Original word: Determination.
Deter: to discourage or refrain from acting
Min: little
at: preposition, used to indicate a location
ion: type of a molecule with unequal number of electrons and protons

Thus Determination means: “the small discouragement expressed toward charged particles.”
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Original word: Lifeline.
Li: Ancient Chinese word for ritual
Feline: Cat

Thus Lifeline means “the cat ritual”
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Original word: Turban.
Tur: type of pea or bean
ban: to not allow, to restrict access to

Thus Turban means “disallow access to a pea”
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Original word: Destiny.
Des: code for diethylstilboestrol, a synthetic estrogen known to cause vaginal tumors
Tiny: small, minute
Thus Destiny means “Small synthetic estrogen samples”
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Original word: Fundamental.
Fun: joyous, enjoyable
Da: slang, meaning yes in German
Men: adult male of the human species
tal: rain or dew

Thus Fundamental means: “Joyous males say yes to rain”
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Original word: Incumbent.
In: within or contained by something
Cum: male sexual discharge
Bent: crooked, not straight

Thus Incumbent means “Male discharge contained crookedly”or by its common name, penis.
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Ok, that was fun to make up. Stop rolling your eyes at me. I work from home now, remember? I have a lot of time to just sit around.

Pinata

In the future, remind me that drinking half a bottle of strong wine with one friend, then going to a Super Bowl party with other friends & drinking beer there, and not eating is a very, very bad combo.
Here is a favorite video clip as of late. Cracked up laughing.