Today I was thinking about addictions. Sure, alcoholism, botulism, Confucianism...wait. Addictions come in all forms, be they substance abuses, habits, ideas or lifestyles. I define addiction as an action that gains control over a portion or all of an individual's life on a regular basis, gains a priority status, and that the individual does not have the will or ability to curb this behavior. I guess I've never thought of ideas or dreams as being addictive, until today. Somes I cannot tell the difference between hopeful ideals and goals and the addiction of those ideas. It's one thing to be diligent in the pursuit for goals, but where is the line that crosses into addiction? To pursue dreams naturally requires steps and changes in one's life, but is the only difference between the two that one is supposed to lead to the betterment of our lives in the long run and the other invariably leads to destruction? What if dreams lead to dispair? I think of celebrities who strive so hard for fame but then collapse underneath it's weight, not realizing the implications of such a dream. How often it seems addictions rides the coat tails of the dreams realized.
People can get controlled by their own expectations until their habits, words, dress and personality are all molded around that one vague idea. I knew people like that growing up; those who were so focused on the "get married to the perfect man/woman and settle down" ideas that their ability to even participate in the mundane happenings of their day to day was impeded. Most would say that's a pretty healthy goal to have, but is it? To desire anything earthly to that degree does not seem healthy at all. It's making an idol out of a relationship or a personal image. Dunno. Sounds an insatiable task.
There are so many things in competetion for my time and energy that I wonder what is quietly stealing my ambitions out from under me. Who we create/desire ourselves to be can rapidly become more powerful than us; I want little me to keep the eyes and ties of reality. But I still want to fly in my dreams.
