Two Minute Titanic

A new Guest Services Coordinator (GSC) has been hired here at the 'Gap, and today was her time to meet the housekeeping ladies. As I was in there with them, it was also my opportunity to hang out with her. The outgoing GSC brought in muffins and over the whir of dryers, said, "Ok, give us the three-minute version of your story."

[this is the part where I tell another story that doesn't seem to be connected, until I brilliantly bring it all back around to a dramatic A-ha! moment, and by A-ha I don't mean like the band of "Take On Me" fame, I mean epiphany-esque]

Lori Connor was on YL staff in VA, and made one particular skit so famous no other can even compare to her. The skit was called "Two-Minute Titanic" and in it she (dressed as Mary Katherine Gallegher) reenacted the entirety of James Cameron's epic movie in two minutes, hence the title of the skit. Well, it was hilarious. Like snorting, stuff flying out the nose, table pounding hilarious. As 99.9% of you know, Kate and Leo did not act in a comedy. It was far from a comedy, besides lines like "I'm king of the world!" and "I'll never let go..." I mean it ends in a Celine Dion song. No comedy should end with Celine. The reason the skit was funny was because only the highlights of the movie were mentioned, and by adding over-acting to the mix, the weight of the material was lost. Something tragic became something breezy and laughable.

[Now we cut back to the scene in the laundry, where I sit, Ingles blueberry muffin in hand]

I sat in the room with two women in their mid-60s, one in her late-40s, and two of us in our mid to late-20s. Our lives told in three minutes? How do you even begin? That breaks down to about 3 seconds a year for the older ladies; what do you say? What could come out in three minutes that isn't breezy and out of context or factual but implacable on a timeline?
Life is not that easy or neat; life is messy. It is not a three minute story, I don't care how boring you are. I understand the intended purpose of the activity; I just feel its a convenient way to feel like there is background on a person when what you know is what they told you in three minutes. We use it a lot in YL and all too often it breeds a false sense of intimacy. I'd much rather hear the 45 minute version, the hour version, the one told over days and weeks. I don't know why it ruffled me like it did; apropos I guess.