Funniest Directions Ever

The trip to DC, et al is finally coming together and the pieces are fitting wonderfully! Next Thursday I'm meeting up in Charlottsville with my roommates and we're hanging out with the delightful Ellen and this guy, Seth, who one of my oldest friends. I emailed him to get directions to his new apartment and here's a bit of the email. What a nut.

"Take 64 East Towards Richmond: Away from most of the hippies
Go about 6 miles and take exit 124, 250 North, slightly closer to hippies
Go up hill, pass liberal hippies on the corner next to hippy store: BP Fuels
Go down hill, pass liberal hippy store, heavy with Brooks Brothers Clothes: Good Will.

If you go over a bridge that is named after a hippy, you have gone too far.
After taking a right on to the road that is way too descriptive for it own good: obviously a ploy by hippies to make sure they no one scrapes their knee on the STONEY POINT,
Make your first right on to the road named after the hippy in your liberal family who taught at the bleeding heart university in this town: Fontana.
After getting onto Fontana, if you make your first right you will end up in the nicest ghetto in the Universe. Don't go in there. You will be shot with diamond bullets fired from a gold plated 9' sucka. Fo' Shizzle.

Don't worry...Charon will be there to ferry you across. Don't forget your silver dollars... he doesn't take your hippy Canadian money. Call me when you get here. I will come out onto the balcony and throw used toilet paper at you. Got it? If not, then drive thru C'ville and scream my name out your window."

Now I don't know if I have any way to actually understand what the F he is talking about, but at least the directions are funny. I was laughing so hard last night I snorted. (Fontana is the last name of my great uncle, who worked for years at the University there)