So this friendship thing with guys has me thinking. I have a problem with close opposite-gender friendships and this is why: they can work fabulously until one of the friends finds someone else they want to date and/or marry. Then the friendship is doomed. If I ever get married/am in a serious relationship, I don't want my husband/boyfriend to still be confiding in a girl friend of his, just as I don't want to be confiding in a guy friend of mine. If I'm married, I expect me to be my husband's best friend and vice versa and I don't want to be seeking that companionship elsewhere. I don't think it's good for any relationship, for trust, for building a life together. Close friends of the opposite sex become obsolete. So what is the point in being in a close friendship with someone of the opposite sex (whom you know you will never date) when from the start it will be a transient relationship? It's planned obsolesce! If someone can explain it to me I'd be more than happy to listen, I just can't see the point of being close friends with someone you will just lose to another. I want friendships that don't have such a shelf-life. I love having guy friends, don't get me wrong. I mean many of my friends are guys--great to hang out, have a few laughs, make fun of each other, etc. It's those really close, BFF type of friendships I don't see as rational. That's where the trouble lies. I mean unless he's gay, that close friendship is ending three ways:
You both fall for each other. Yippie!.
One of you falls/pines for the other. Rejected. Ouch.
One of you falls for someone else, ergo dumping friend. Friend is burn-a-nated.
I mean maybe I'm wrong, but those are the only conclusions I've ever witnessed. I know I'm sounding cynical, but I feel I'm being realistic. I simply don't want close guy friends, or at least any more of them. I'll keep my guy friends, but just at a bit of a distance.
1 comment:
I totally agree. I think the worst scenario is the unrequited love. So painful.
At our age (post-university 20 somethings) we don't need anymore 'friends'...hopefully. I know a few girls who have even DTR'd by saying, "What exactly is going on here? Because I don't need any more friends." Very wise women, I say.
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