Song Lyrics I Really Don't Believe

"Can't forget to stay real...to me it's like breathing." --Jennifer Lopez
(memo to J.Lo: breathing must be very, very difficult for you if staying real is something you have to be reminded to do. I sure hope you insure your lungs for the same amount you insured your legs. But thank God that's really you on Oprah. And here I thought it was just a roboJLo)

"I'm never gonna dance again. Guilty feet have got not rhythm." --George Michael
(I don't know...I mean OJ is a pretty good dancer and we all know how guilty he is)

"Never gonna give you up, let you down, run around and desert you."--Rick Ainsley
(Rick...oh Rick. You are just too ambitious. You make your girl sound like she's a dodgeball.)

"I'll make love to you like you want me to."--Boys II Men
(Well...what if I don't to make love? Did you think about that Shawn? Huh? No you didn't.)

"I'm all out of love"--Air Supply
(Dear Air Supply: love isn't like ice cream; you can't just run out of it. Also: love doesn't give you gas the way ice cream does if you are lactose intolerant)

"I was born in the back of a greyhound bus goin' down highway 41."--Allman Brothers Band
(Somehow I think your greyhound bus driver would kick your momma's ass off that bus long before you was ever born. Maybe you were born on the side of highway 41 after your mom was kicked off the bus, but on the bus? Nope. Side of the road is probably cleaner anyway.)

"If I had a million dollars I'd buy you a green dress."--Barenaked Ladies
(If all you bought me was a green dress with your millions...well let's just say you better HOPE you were lying. Maybe a green dress and some cows for the Heifer Project.)

"I still go to Taco Bell."--Fergie
(No you don't. You probably eat gold plated tacos.)