The party on Saturday was hilarious and late and dance-filled and memorable and a bit fuzzy and I still can't hear out of my right ear so it was, to me, in mono. It is like half of my head is in a constant state of sinking, like my brain is threatening to capsize. Every sound is underwater. I've found I am engaging less as I hear less; I fear I'll miss a conversation or don't want the attention that comes from asking people to speak up or repeat a comment.
Also: I've stopped singing in the car. I always sing in the car, but what I hear now is tinny and distant and my voice isn't familiar and I quit singing.
Yesterday I finally began my Christmas shopping and I traveled around town, collecting gifts like they were skipping stones. All are small and thoughtful, as they should be. Once again the whole family will be in town so my sister is in overdrive organizing the duel holidays that come with duel houses. I hope my hearing will improve before next week; I'll be disappointed if Christmas came to be merely a spectator event for me. I am detached enough as is.
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