A Pocket of Skipping Stones

The party on Saturday was hilarious and late and dance-filled and memorable and a bit fuzzy and I still can't hear out of my right ear so it was, to me, in mono. It is like half of my head is in a constant state of sinking, like my brain is threatening to capsize. Every sound is underwater. I've found I am engaging less as I hear less; I fear I'll miss a conversation or don't want the attention that comes from asking people to speak up or repeat a comment.
Also: I've stopped singing in the car. I always sing in the car, but what I hear now is tinny and distant and my voice isn't familiar and I quit singing.
Yesterday I finally began my Christmas shopping and I traveled around town, collecting gifts like they were skipping stones. All are small and thoughtful, as they should be. Once again the whole family will be in town so my sister is in overdrive organizing the duel holidays that come with duel houses. I hope my hearing will improve before next week; I'll be disappointed if Christmas came to be merely a spectator event for me. I am detached enough as is.

Do You Hear What I Hear

If you do hear what I hear, it is incessant ringing and it isn't fun, is it?

Wednesday morning I woke up to a horrible ear ache. I haven't had an ear infection since I was probably 10 or 11 but I remember the pain well. I hate going to doctors and avoid them if all possible but as the day progressed the pain got worse. The pain got distractingly, excruciatingly worse. I gave up, called my doctor friend and had him look at it. "You have an ear infection," he said and gave me a prescription for antibiotics. At this point I could hardly see straight from pain (good time to be driving around town) but I made it home fine. I took my antibiotic and lay down with a warm rice pack on my ear (it really does help, or is comforting enough to make me believe it helps) when the pain started to abate. Hallelujah. Then stuff starting flowing out of my ear.

Ewww.

The next morning I knew my ear drum had ruptured. The pain had eased drastically but the stuff kept coming out and the ringing had started. I couldn't hear anything out of my right ear except that damn ringing. I went to work. I couldn't keep my head up very long, the vertigo was too severe. I walked around with my head cocked to the side, like I was quizzing everyone and everything. I went home early. I slept for almost four hours.
Today I went to work. And today I still can't hear anything and the sloshing in my head has worsened, I feel like I may pass out or vomit at any time. Woohoo!

Here's to you, Tympanic membrane! Thank you for the worse pain I've experienced in recent memory! And your timing has been impeccable, because you know I have absolutely nothing happening this weekend...oh wait.

Grrr.