Smug Little Blessed

I thought I was going to write about nuclear power plants, spent fuel rods, the pitchblende mining lobby, national security and Yucca Mountain but alas something else took my thoughts. Don't act so relieved.
On my way to work this morning I passed a tractor-trailer cab that said, "I'm Blessed!" in large block letters across its back. I was struck with how ostentatious he was with it, how joyous it sounded on the tongue.
I never say I'm blessed.
I am a born-again pessimist so I don't normally think that way, but I was convicted by this trucker's blatant statement. Thus the thoughts began as I sped between the rumble strips of I-90. Of course what cd should I be listening to but "I'm blessed as the poor/still I judge success by how I'm dressing..." I hate it when everything seems to fall together like that. Weird. I sat there in my 2001 Subaru, driving on cruise control with the stereo blasting, in my Gap jacket and J.Crew shoes--me the materialistic whore I've become. Damn comfort. I'm moving back into my tent and showering once a week. Life was more simple and I was happier.
But I am blessed.
I stress about money, and jobs, and futures, but I am blessed. I am secure. I have way more than the basics. I have food. I am going places (someday). I have a family that loves me in their own, dysfunctional way and friends in all four corners who are mysterious and fun and wise and intelligent and hilarious and learned and beautiful and loyal and kind. No one is trying to kill me. I am a smug little blessed American.
I need to say that more. "I am blessed."
But what part do limits play in the world of the blessed? Just because we have, is it our duty to use?
A G.K. Chesterton quote to sum it all up neatly in some skewed way:

"I felt it in my bones, first that this world does not explain itself...Second, I came to feel as if magic must have a meaning, and meaning must have some one to mean it. There was something personal in the world, as in a work of art...Third, I thought this purpose beautiful in its old design, in spite of its defects, such as dragons. Fourth, that the proper form of thanks to it is some form of humility and restraint: we should thank God for beer and Burgundy by not drinking too much of them...And last, and strangest, there had come into my mind a vague and vast impression that in some way all good was a remnant to be stored and held sacred out of some primordial ruin. Man had saved his good as Crusoe saved his goods: he had saved them from a wreck."

Put it on my TAB

The night before Easter and it's time for TAB pong (yes TAB, that disgusting diet cola circa 1984. And Fresca. Seriously). Here are Liz, Carey & I with "Short" Paul. He hates it when we all get together, b/c he's scared.... Check out Carey's "DO NOT ENTER" chastity belt.

Resume the Resume

I've started three different posts and about 2/3 of the way through them I realize that they are total crap and even I don't want to go back and read what I just vomited onto the screen.
Today's task:
My writing resume.
I have to do it for a job possibility (pleeeze oh pleeeze) and for some reason I am drawing a total blank as to what the hell I should put into my writing resume. It's rather strange to pour time and effort into the production of a paper about how awesome you are.
Goals: To write for a living. Preferably with you paying me to write for a living. Preferably writing something interesting, and in English. And you paying me to do so.
Skills: I can write. Occasionally, I can write well. Or poorly if you done need that. I can write with lots of expression!!!!!!! Or not. I like commas (,) semi-colons (;) and dashes (--) which probably have a technical name but I don't remember what it is right now. Also, rhetorical questions (?) . Step B: Hate instruction manuals.
References: (Spooner, p.43)
My personal ad if I ever should need one: SWF seeks SM for grammatically correct convos, witty puns and pop culture sarcasm...and obligatory long walks on the beach. Pessimism of all things right-wing a must. Also, hate Yankees, love playing outside, BBQ stuff, go Skins. Fine with feminism but like Zeppelin. Also, no gelled, spikey high-five hair.
I hate high-five hair.

Letdown

The disparity between the loftiness of expectation and the weight of reality.
I guess letdown is gravity in a way--the process of bringing one's feet back to the grit of day to day.
Letdown--investments that hit the bear market of hearts and heads. Relationships, friendships, jobs, applications--hopes that don't live up to the time, energy and emotion that is exerted, ending before expected.
Knowing there could be, and probably will be a letdown, how are we not to despair our way into hermitude?
If there is optimism in letdown?
Where is optimism in letdown?
I guess it's in the boof.
When kayaking a waterfall, a paddler has to get up enough speed and power to launch herself off the falls, traveling faster than the current beneath her. If done properly, she will travel out into the air and land away from the bottom of the falls. This is called "boofing" for the sound the boat makes when it hits the water.
If not enough speed/power is attained, the paddler will fall with the water over the lip, probably being turned upside-down in mid-air, landing on her head and getting pummeled by the falls, leading to serious injury, death or just embarrassment.
Optimism is those few extra strokes that separate the boof from the douche--both ways a letdown, two different ways to run it.

The Tidbits

Just for kicks the DJ hooked her I-pod up and just hit shuffle for the 10 song set this morning.
Not gonna lie, Neil Diamond to Tone Loc to Marvin Gaye was pretty sweet, but there's a reason you don't hear "Wild Thing" on the radio much anymore.
Also, does this mean we can outsource our DJ jobs to I-pods, and if so, do we still get those annoying I-pods that just love to listen to themselves shuffle? Can you teach an I-pod to interview Ashlee Simpson? Is Ashlee Simpson an I-pod with a wig? In a battle of wits between Ashlee Simpson and the I-pod with an Ashlee Simpson wig, would Ryan Cabarra care?
Has anyone ever listened to the words of Tone Loc's "Wild Thing?" Thank God rap has evolved, b/c that crap was annoying.
If someone asks what is in a gin and tonic, what is one to say?
Is Boone gonna die on "Lost" b/c I was actually starting to like that annoying twit.
Anyone know of any jobs in NoVA, b/c I'm gonna need a new one come May.
I wish I had an I-pod.