Silliness/babies

My oldest sister, Bobo, called me on Friday night to say that our other sister, Bubby (this is actually what I call the both of them...aren't you glad you aren't my sibling so I don't nick-name you something stupid then only call you that) was in labor with her 4^th. My mom was driving the two hours out to be with her and help watch her other kids. Whew, way to go, baby maker Bubby. Turned out to be a false alarm but it was still rather exciting. I'm waiting for the call at any moment—she's currently a week overdue to have her third son. When I talked to Bubby she was exactly the same, relaxed and talking about desserts and baking.

After my grandfather's memorial service a few weeks ago the whole extended family had a catered dinner together. The venue was playing background music that was basically the “Choose Cheesy” mix on 'roids; it was ridiculous and mildly inappropriate. “I Say a Little Prayer”, “I've Had the Time of My Life”, “We've Only Just Begun”, etc. You get the idea. My niece Lilia Grace (greatest child ever) and I decided we should dance to the songs, especially “My Girl”. So we were slow dancing out on the floor, having a blast and being silly. My brother and my little sister joined us, even my mom danced with Lilia Grace for a bit. My little sister and I had a dance to “Wishin' and Hopin'” that we made up. My aunts and uncles had these funny plastic black/green glittery bowler hats and fake mustaches (my grandfather used to dress up as Charlie Chaplin) they were wearing around. What I loved about it all was that even in the midst of loss, in the midst of remembering someone we all dearly loved and respected, our silliness and joy had to come out of us. It's a natural expression; silliness is just us. I don't think I've appreciated that to the extent I do now. I do hope there is dancing and silly hats at my memorial service.

Speaking of babies, congrats to Andy and Katherine and Grafton and Beth on the impending babies!

Expectation

I'm always stuck when I come up disappointed and short, when I let the volatile mixture of imagination and expectation plan out events whose simple existence is a stretch. And so I beg. I plead, I haggle, I bargain to try to get what I want, when I want, how I want, in my terms, to satisfy that expectation that really is just an outlet of my deep seeded fears. I treat God like he runs a marketplace and I'm both a petulant child and a savvy businesswoman. I'm needing to curb the loftiness of my expectations. Cling to hope and not live each day in a perpetual letdown. Because it has been a constant tripping over letdowns these past few months and I can't handle it. I need to lower my expectations to something realistic instead of the stratosphere fiction sells as fact and I believe.

You Should Go Here

My friend Liz is doing a blog with her friend Lauren, and it's hilarious lists. I mean, read this thing. It's great.

http://thatwasnthelpful.blogspot.com/

More in the List Department

#1: On Saturday, French Broad Chocolate Company had the soft opening of their new Chocolate Lounge, located very close to the corner of Lexington and Patton, around the corner from Salsa's. GO TO THIS CHOCOLATE LOUNGE. It may have changed my life for the better, and I don't even like chocolate that much. Literally the best chocolates I have ever tasted. Like the world disappeared and I was overwhelmed with flavors and ideas. Godiva is like drinking Boone's Farm and this is the best wine you can imagine. And they serve beer and wine, and a Pisgah Porter does wonders for some seriously good dark chocolate truffles. Plus, my friend Katherine's artwork is featured throughout the lounge. It's gorgeous. So go. Afterward we went over to my friend Ian and Tammy's and sat around in their hot tub drinking bourbon. It was as awesome as it sounds.

#2 From Asheville, plane tickets to Flagstaff cost the same or more than they do to fly to London. Go figure.

#3 I got into a conversation with my mom the other day about kids with parents that are split, and I felt like I got to say a lot of things to her that I needed to say and never could figure out how to say. For someone who has been married and divorced several times, she has no idea what it does to kids. Or how long the effect lasts.

#4 The Giants represented the NFC East well last night, and for that I'll no longer make fun of Eli Manning for looking like he's 13. I'll say he's 15. Also: I expected the Super Bowl to be a "if you drink every time a Peyton Manning commercial comes on you'll be hammered by the two minute warning of the first half" but alas, no Peyton commercials. Or should I say thankfully there weren't. But how great was Tom Petty? I mean really, the person who thought of that: kisses, pies and a raise! Looks like a child molester, sings like a child molester, but still manages to be fairly awesome. Well done, Petty. You keep runnin' down that dream.

#5 I'm in a lull. Don't feel I got too much goin' on.

Misc.

It's been a while!
Tidbits:

* I finally had the concept of post-modernism explained to me. I've never had a theology or philosophy class and it wasn't something taught in science lectures to be sure. Interesting. Now I'm trying to figure out how I feel about aboslutes, and I don't mean the vodka.

* Daniel Snyder, the owner of the Redskins, is trying to make my head explode. I think he is Jerry Jones (owner of the Cowboys) in a young Republican costume. I think he legitimately hates the Redskins and thus is trying to make them implode every year. That's the only conclusion I can come up with for his boneheaded moves.

* I'm also harboring bitterness toward the Green Bay Packers, for losing to the Giants and thus making me have to cheer for an NFC East rival. I don't want to cheer for Eli Manning. Darn you Brett Favre for putting me in that situation.

*My back has been crippingly painful as of late and it is maddening. I'm looking everywhere for reprieve.

* Went to Windy Gap for leftover lunch on Monday--I should visit more often. I had such a love/hate relationship during my internship there and now it's simply love. Those people are such blessings. Plus I get a lot of hugs. In hindsight I am so thankful for my tenure there.

* "LOST" last night...hmm...where are they going? What the heck? And I'm mourning Charlie. I really liked how far his character had come. And poor Claire.

* I'm re-reading "Plan B: Further Thoughts on Faith" by Anne Lamott. I sure do love that woman. It's balancing out "The Cloister Walk" by Kathleen Norris.

* I've been studying Daniel lately. In one of his prayers he says, "Do not hear us because we are righteous, but because of your mercy." reminds me that God doesn't hear us because of what we are or aren't, but because he loves us. Should be obvious. Totally isn't.

* There are several things I want to learn how to do, or get certified in: auto mechanic, pilot, EMT, professional driving, shoot a handgun, take self-defense, scuba dive. Maybe be fluent in another language. And learn to sew. I hate feeling helpless in situations.

* I finally got my NC license. The first one they gave me said my gender was male. Whoops.

* You know what is great? Pringles.