My room in the townhouse is fairly small with cathedral ceilings, so I, in a fit of hysterical ambitiousness, decided I needed a full-sized loft for a bed.
And that I am the one to build it.
Just call me Bob Vila.
I'm not building this off the top of my head; I have the plans for one. It's 22 pages long.
Today I went to Home Depot (or "Home Despot" as I like to call it) in Hank, my 1987 Ford F-150 pickup truck to get the necessary lumber for said loft.
8 2x6x8
4 2x4x12
6 2x4x10
1 2x4x8
2 2x3x8
1 4'x8' 3/4" particle board (which, I learned, is approximately 90lbs)
120 #8 2 1/2" Phillips wood screws
50 #8 1 1/2" Phillips wood screws
35 5/16 x4" lag bolts and washers
Pushing my big orange cart around the Despot this morning you'd of thought that I was the first woman to dare to play at Augusta, or enter the Citadel, or accuse Bill Reilly. I mean the conversations stopped and they just stared. Like I would have been more conspicuous dressed as the mascot for the Orioles. I felt as if I was walking around with three boobs, like I should have been selling carnival tickets, or had brought my own pole to dance with. I believe some serious cases of whiplash may have later been reported. They wouldn't help me, would walk right past me but continue to stare unless I stared back, then they'd duck and walk briskly away. There actually was some snickering overheard. The only time anyone helped or spoke to me was when it was the all-out war between the particle board and myself. I had one end up on the cart and every time I went to push it farther onto the cart, the cart rolled farther down the aisle. The kind gentleman in the orange apron was nice enough to put his foot in front of the cart's wheels, thereby saving me from chasing it all the way to the far wall.
$105 later I was out in the parking lot in the 95+ weather and humidity, trying to figure out how to get all the lumber in to the bed of ol' Hank. I counted 18 men who walked right past me without so much as a grunt of encouragement or an offering of help (and it was obvious that I needed it). Finally, after about 10 minutes, a woman offered to hold my cart so I could get the bastard particle board into the bed of my truck. That's it.
I don't expect doors held for me, or a man to stand up whenever I leave the table, or him to give me his coat when it's cold (though all of these are always appreciated and major bonus points). I do, however, expect a neighborly offering of help when it is evident that it is needed. Only women spoke to me while I was struggling to wrangle my lumber into bungees and tie-downs, and it was to offer some sort of encouragement.
I got the a few of my boards measured and cut tonight; I have a lot more building, cutting, sanding, staining, drilling, screwing and filing in my future. It was just a day of realizing that I my being a girl can be a shock or even an insult in the wrong situation (Was that too dramatic? Sorry I got a phone call toward the end of this post and coming back I had lost all my steam).
2 comments:
So, what is your diagnosis on WHY they didn't help you? I find that interesting because I have often experienced just the opposite. I can understand the staring and the surprise when seeing a woman carry on with her cart full of lumber, but I don't get the unwillingness to help. I would think that they would be overly helpful...like, because you are clearly a struggling woman in Home Depot, a man would feel he had to come to your inevitable rescue. Not only would this person help you with stablizing the cart's wheels (as you point out someone so generously did)... but pick out the wood, load it on, push it around, suggest multiple other issues that you possibly couldn't have thought of yourself, continue pushing and loading your cart, coach you through how to build it, forcefully load up your cart with 15 other things you "NEED", explain to the checkout person that YOU are actually going to build something with wood and nails and directions, transfer all the goods to your truck, and then finally, open your car door, buckle you in, and bid you farewell. Now wouldn't that be nice? (See Jill Conner Browne's portrait of a trip to Home Depot for a more entertaining perspective most likely involving "The Promise". I don't remember the exerpt exactly, or even if it did involve "The Promise", but just read the damn book anyway).
In any case, I hope the construction is going well, and next time you go to Home Depot, you should do an experiment. Wear a short skirt with high heels and stuff your bra. Also, bring friends. I hear men love women in numbers. Let us know if you got any service. I look forward to your diagnosis and analytical follow-up.
I appreciate the assignment. I shall have to do that. See what kind of service I get...
I will even practice The Promise, but only for the sake of this assignment I assure you.
Any takers for the posse...Maskey? You know you wanna.
The way Caroline makes it sound I'm sorta happy no one helped me. I'd have kicked him in the shins if he tried to do everything she said.
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