The Same Boat

I apologize, I have neglected my promise to give you weird NY towns for the day:
Caledonia
Canajoharie
Canandaigua
Canaseraga
Cattaraugus

Hope that satisfies you for now.
I must also apologize for not being very funny. I don't know why I'm not very funny in my blog, for I promise you, dear reader, that I am funny in real life. Well, in the non-blog world at least. So the other day I talked to my friend from college, the great and delightful Emilie. I get down on myself for not really doing anything spectacular with my life and talking to Em made me feel a bit better, as she divulged that she was working at a French Restaurant and I was, of course, in the high-glamour world of retail. I figure if someone that talented isn't in the "real world" yet then I'm not as far off as I thought. Today I caught up with my fantastic roommate from college, the ineffable Jen Cash, who just finished biking the west coast with my other roommate, Alexis. Makes me feel like I don't do anything my life, but another issue for another time. So Jen is also not doing much and very close to broke. In fact, most of my friends my age are up in the air with everything--it's kind of a relief to realize this boat I'm in is the same one as a lot of my friends.

It's A Hard-Knock Life

Another day off to pour over obsessively this grad school thing.
The problem with creative writing is its so subjective; I'm not even sure what is "good" and what isn't, I just know what I can produce and what I can't. Last week my friend Liz was writing a paper on creativity and it got me thinking about the whole process. To create anything is mindboggling; I don't ever plan to have children, so my writings may be as close as I get (as melodramatic as that sounds). I'm sure ya'll are really sick of me talking about these writing samples I have to produce, but it's all that's in my life right now so it's all I can talk about. Sorry.
First I have the statement of purpose, which is supposed to sum up me, my entire background, my writing experience, why I want to study creative writing and what makes me a good canidate. It's the most important part, and I have to say that I'm so stressed about it I almost don't know how to go about doing it. Today I spent half the day staring at what I'd written so far. I think I wrote maybe one new sentence.
Then there are my short stories. I have to submit two stories. The problem is, I have yet to finish one story. I've started plenty of them, I just can't finish them.
Oh no now I'm having a panic attack, doubting my abilities or my desire to study this.
I want to, I know I do...I just don't know how.
AHHHHHH!
I may rip out all my hair.

Shot for the day: When I was leaving VA for NY Liz and I stopped at the P-vegas McDonalds. We wore hats. We got the guy at the drive-through window to take our picture. He added the thumbs up, which makes it that much cooler...

The Best and Worst of 2K4, version 1.1

So I told ya'll I was working on this list, and now that the end is nigh (of 2K4 at least) I figured I'd post the beta version of the list. It's meant to try to capture the year that was in my life, so if its a wide spectrum that's because the year was crazy. So here it is (I'll probably keep adding to it in subsequent posts...actually, you add to it people. Send comments, changes, your feelings on the purple sweatpants. I want to hear from you):

BEST AND WORST OF 2K4
Best Wedding: Dave and Shelby Boynton, July in Lancaster, NH
Key: Open bar before the wedding, the whole wedding party in chacos.

Best After-the-Wedding Moment: Chris Parcell cuddling with a watermelon in Hatcher's car, June in Purcellville
Key: "I love you watermelon...I do...you wanna see who's gonna die first, watermelon? Cuz YOU'LL LOSE!"

Best Hangover Party: The breakfast after Dave and Shelby's wedding, Lancaster, NH
Key: I think Dan was still drunk...

Best New Scar: Right forarm in the battle of me vs. tray of apple pies
Key: I got it while baking, and I don't bake

Worst New Scar: Accidently burning the tip of my nose while trying to light a cigar and talk on the phone at the same time
Key: Neosporin smells HORRIBLE.

Best Book (tie): Life of Pi by Yann Martel/Blue Like Jazz by Donald Miller
Key: 450-lb bengal tiger named Richard Parker/He wants to marry Ani DiFranco

Best New Album: "O" by Damien Rice, January or February
Key: He's Irish...

Best (or Worst) Irrational Celebrity Obsession: Suzy Gilgrist and Liz Watkins, on Usher
Key: It's USHER. He's got some confessions.

Best Unnecessary Event: Dodgeball, Interns vs. Summer Staff, Saranac
Key: My Little Pony and Ninja Turtle balls, Cat Wade in pigtails.

Best Party (tie): David Hasselhoff/"Crabfest!...Now Leave."
Key: Homemade shirts, pinatas and mix cds (and crabs)

Best Reunion: Taps Week reunion, April in Syracuse
Key: Murphy came in a dress!

Best Victory: Red Sox came from 0-3 to beat Yankees in 7 in ALCS championship
Key: Oh yeah, and then the won the World Series. But they beat the Yankees!

Best Girl Moment: Hot tub, ALI ski weekend, January
Key: Bubbly in the bubbly

Best Outfit: Vikings in grass skirts and guard tubes, September in Saranac, NY
Key: Headlamps, pieces and bling-bling as lifeguards for "Slide for the Brave"

Worst Departure (inanimate): Mosby's Tavern, Middleburg, VA
Key: 1/2 Price Burger Night, Pyramid Hefeweizen

Best Upgrade: Roy the Raging Tempo to Rudy the Rugged 'Roo
Key: Only 15 years, ABS, airbags and a working seatbelt

Best Gift: 2ft Dubya Pinata from Caroline, September
Key: Pinata is still smarter than the original

Best Catch-phrase: Dawn of the "LoCo" shirts, Leadership Weekend, Feburary
Key: LoCo makes LoCo sound cool...and no Wal-Marts in Bethesda?

Best Departure (inaimate): My VA drivers license photo
Key: It was so bad even the NY DMV man laughed

Best Showdown: Murphy vs. Spooner, undefeated carbomb champs, April, Planet 505, Syracuse
Key: DEAD TIE! TAPS FOR LIFE!

Best Movie: "Napoleon Dynamite" September with Hatch
Key: "Tina, come get your dinner you fat lard!"

Best Astronomical Sighting: The Seven Moons of Saturn over Saranac, August
Key: The Doc's brother had a telescope...

Best Orginal Song: "If Jesus Were a Sanitizer", by Cris and Spooner, September, Saranac
Key: Cleaning all the public bathrooms at Saranac in a driving rainstorm and the fumes as inspiration

Best Freebie: Bar Mitzvah shirt from 13-year-old boy, Dave and Busters, Bethesda, MD
Key: "Guest List Finalist" on front, "David's Bar Mitzvah" on the back

Best Fest: ODB Fest, Old Dominion Brewery, Ashburn, VA in June
Key: It's a festival for cigars and beer. duh. Prank call to Amy..."NIPPLENIPPLENIPPLE!"

Best Karyoke Moment: "Forever in Blue Jeans" by Erin Hatcher, returning from Campaigner Overnight
Key: We were on a bus full of high school students...

Best Business Card: Grafton DeButts
Key: Grafton DeButts

Best Rock Opera: The August Bakery's Rock Opera, as performed by Beener, Caroline and Spooner
Key: "Things to Do While Beener Poops"

Best Concert (tie): Ani D, 9:30 Club, Live DVD Taping, May in DC/Mindy Smith, Old Towne Theatere, Alexandria
Key: Elena crying and twitching/literally running into Mindy in the bathroom before the show, Amber, Erin and I eating a 17 course meal afterward.

Best Sex Talk: Elizabeth Maskey
Key: "Build a bridge and stand on it."

Best New Extreme Sport: Mattress Sliding, August, Saranac
Key: Hal and JC, the "we can be friends" boob grab--"How old are you guys?"

Worst Reality Check: Cancer scare and bone scan, June
Key: Hatcher and 2 hours at Ikea

Best Nickname: Uncle Jimmycake, Saranac
Key: "I licked your Jimmycake!" "Sweet!"

Best Chase Sequence: Hatcher vs. Lars, Rockbridge in October
Key: the Purple Sweatpants...Maskey's "Awww crap."

Best Gang: BB 1818 at the Brothers
Key: Emil, Marco, Jorge, BB 4 Life!

Best Drink: ODB's Oak Barrel Stout
Key: This one stays the same every year

Best Dance (tie): LoCo Contra Dance, Saranac dance parties
Key: J.Wags, J.Shui, Hot Pat and Grafton/Erin C. dressed as a Twinkie, JC's "A Whole New World"

Best Fashion Statement: Purple Sweatpants
Key: Still trying to figure this one out

Worst Fashion Statement: Purple Sweatpants
Key: I said I was still trying to figure this one out....

Worst Letdown: Twilight Polo rained out, July
Key: Amber and I with wine and cigars, complaining the whole time

Best Job: Assistant Baker, Saranac
Key: Beener, Caroline, Butts, Tex, Jacque, Aaron, Courtney, Lauren, the pits...sneaking tastes behind April's back

Best Real-life Cartoon Character: Kristen Beil
Key: Seriously, who are you right now? I love you times 10 to the 3rd power...


That's it! Add to it if you want!
Here's to 2K5!

Red Ribbon

As it is my day off work I like to lounge, as it should be. On VH1 a special on AIDS and popular culture was on and I guess I just sort of forget it all--like my generation was raised in awareness but I don't think it's something we actively worry about now. We were too young to be shocked by the deaths of Rock Hudson, Freddie Mercury or Easy E--too blissfully ignorant to even know what was happening. Now all we know is "wear a condom" and think of "Rent" when we hear the word AIDS. We kind of dismiss it as the epidemic of the 80s and that we've conquered it now, when in actuality, in 2003 AIDS cases in the US rose for the first time in 10 years, most between the ages of 15-24. WHAT? Last year alone, 42,000 Americans contracted HIV/AIDS. A disproportionate number of new cases are occurring in young, heterosexual women. Now there are 42 million people in the world living with AIDS. A recent statistic said that by 2010, 20 million African children will be orphans due to HIV/AIDS.
One child every minute dies from AIDS.
A child.
I don't tend to get all mushy about things like this, but for some reason this has especially hit me today.
Watching that show I was blown away by the initial protests by the Christian Right about the disease, saying it "Served [homosexuals] right," implying that this horrific epidemic was God's wrath. That took my breath away, because in those faces behind the huge "GOD HATES FAGS" signs, I saw not one ounce of compassion or love. These people are dying, they don't know how or why, and your first reaction is "serves them right?" How do I make sure I never become like that? I am shocked and digusted.

It's World AIDS Day and I'm convicted that I don't do enough if there is even something I can do.
Ugh.

Stats taken from:
www.whatudo.org
www.unaids.org