Best and Worst of 2k7

Here it is, dear readers: the summary of the year that was (at least in my life). It's time to give out the best and worst awards for the 2007 season. Events: just be honored you were nominated.

Most Interesting Concert:
Awkward Ben Kweller show, August at the Grey Eagle with Katherine
Key: Being some of the oldest people there..and drinking a Nantucket Nectar while being glared at by the under-21 crowd.

Most Fascinating Holiday:
Coon Dog Day, Saluda, NC with Jane, Chris and Caroline
Key: James peeing off the boat house in front of everyone, some sweet G&Ts, literal dancing in the streets, a holiday dedicated to coon dogs. Like ya do.

Best Wedding/Weekend:
Dylan and Amanda, April, HighLAND Forest Tulley, NY.
Key: Bad Idea Girls in action/Taps Week Reunion, Leah Flynn at Taps (“Everyone should get a Paps...I'm just sayin'”), The easter egg hunt in the snowstorm, best bachelor party I've ever been to, duct tape genius flask holders, solid chocolate bunnies, and of course “You thought I was getting married at an ESF biological research station!?”

Most Random Night Out While Vacationing:
HOTARD Bus night, June, DC with Murphy, Jonas, Des, Caroline and Sean
Key: Trivial Pursuit and Schafer at the Pug, The HOTARD bus, the tower of power, throwing a pen in Sean's eye, etc. I mean really. The random nights are the best with that group (I am reminded of “THIS IS HOW THE OTHER HALF LIVES! That is a FAKE FICAS!” from days of yore).

Most Random Night Out While Staying in Town:
Downtown After Five with Yo' Mamma's Big Fat Booty Band morphing into an all night affair involving salsa dancing, G&Ts and bootydancing at a dessert restaurant at 1am, September, Asheville with Jane, Nate, John and cast
Key: I was in carharrts, learning to salsa dance at an Indian restaurant, Dr Dan's cameo, the Steve Winwood shirt, Ending up at Temptations the next night as well. Awesome.

Worst Loss, Inanimate Object (tie):
Doc's Little Gem Diner, September, Syracuse, NY.
Key: It's the frickin' Little Gem. It has never locked its doors since 1955 and it has to close cuz of a fire. Communists are behind it.

Old Dominion Brewing Company, Ashburn, VA
Key: Anheuser-Busch. The bastards killed ODB. No ODB fest, the OBS tastes like poo, no more brewery tours, effectively killing something that was once so pure and unmolested...well, as much as a brewery can be pure and unmolested.

Worst Health Run-in:
Collapsing at the Gillian Welch concert, February, Orange Peel, Asheville, NC
Key: Stupid Hyper-hypo. Katherine turning around saying, “Where did Spooner go?” and finding me in a pile on the floor. “I'm not drunk! I'm not drunk!” the rock star nurse who saved me, stealing Gillian Welch's juice.

Best Voicemail:
Erin Hatcher, Jenny Steele's bachelorette party, June, Virginia Beach, VA
Key: You'd have to hear it, but it does involve a favorite Beach Boys song and yelling “JERK!” at the right moment. I have it saved on my phone and it makes my day every time it comes up.

Worst Holiday:
My birthday, Memorial day weekend, Asheville/Raleigh.
Key: Freshly fired from internship, Seth and I go out way too late the night before, run into Lewis Black, am too hungover to think about giant breakfast, have to drive 4 hours home on hangover, not getting to see family, only friends in town not working that day: 2 (Though Andy and Katherine did make me a very sweet meal). In bed by 10. Here's to you, 26.

Best Pet:
Scape the Goat, Josh Yeatman's yard, July, Black Mountain, NC
Key: An unneutered, 1-year old male goat wearing a bark collar and running on a dog lead who snores, stands on things and once had the cops called on him for incessant screaming. Yup, best/stupidest pet. Not since Goodman and DC got the “potbellied” pig in college has a pet made me scratch my head and laugh like Scape did.

Best New Game:
Rootball, Rootbar #1, Swannaowa, NC
Key: Think bocce mated with horseshoes. Seeing Jane and Emily win a game with a ringer, Katherine and I trash talk Andy and a stranger, “free roast?”, watching Josh get pissed I wasn't taking the game seriously, the gospel/jam band, watching Robin and Liz interact: priceless.

Most Improved Holiday:
St. Patrick's Day, March, DC
Key: Normally this is my worst holiday of the year (God knows I'm not Irish) but this year it was Funterns Take DC and I was in a tiny bar in Adams-Morgan with a crazy herd of SU/ESF people and my roommates and Joyce made T-shirts. Awesome. 'Sanne and Julie's said, “Spooner's Roommate #1 and #2”

Best Reunion:
Adventure Links 10-year Reunion, June, Paris, VA
Key: All-star friends and co-workers: Hillacious D, Elena, Doodle, Dave, Dan, Dave K, Laura, Mario, Scott, Helen, Jess, Emma, Brian, Jason, Anna, Austin and on and on. And no Negativo, Mumbles, Two Cents or Adam and Tiffany. Way too much fun for such a short period of time. Dancing to “Stuck in the Middle With You” with the original 2001 crew really was a highlight.

Best Sidetrip:
Biltmore McDonald's with Kristina
Key: “I heard all about it on the Food Network!”, she was seriously excited, The grand Wulitzer piano, the fireplace. In a McD's. Awesome.

Best Birthday Party (Tie):
Robin's karaoke/wings night, August, Asheville, NC
Key: “The Greatest Love of All” as preformed by Robin, with backing by Caroline, Jane and myself, a truly horrible rendition of “Come Sail Away” by the Harmon Ladies.

Shaunna's hot dogs and 80s night, March, Asheville, NC
Key: Dave Dail's outfit, as well as Shaunna's glamtastic sweater and silver leggings. Josie and Hadley coming in costume. Oh, and hot dogs. And the Coolio card.

Most Entertaining Brush With the Law:
Alana Bullers, April, Shelby NC going 80 in a 55.
Key: Green rented Taurus b/c our cars too janky to drive. Speeding ticket while listening to Wyclef on our way to Charlotte at 11pm. Awesome.

Best Return:
Whitewater kayaking, June, Asheville, NC with Jane mostly
Key: Hadn't paddled in 4 years, just great to be in a boat again. Also Jane's hot dogs on the river.

Best New Tradition:
Quizzo, every Monday, 8-10:30pm, Jack of the Wood, Asheville, NC. Since July.
Key: Revolving cast that makes up our perpetual 6^th place team, fighting over team names, cursing SmartyPants with the Fist of Indignation, a bake-off in a bar, trying unsuccessfully to make Andrew laugh, getting yelled at by Dan for using the calculator on my phone on a question I still got wrong, the night of the “merkin” conversation, and yet another reason to hate Kenny Lofton. Thanks all team members, especially Margarita, Rita, Dan, Doug, Nate, Jane, Caroline, Robin and all the rest who make guest appearances!

Best Drinking Game (Tie):
Schlong game, pretty much everywhere, all year.
Key: As taught by Jenny Steele, this old stalwart made strong showings after the Taps-That-Ass-A-Thon on Good Friday, The first night of Doppelganger Doug and Dr. Dan at Jack of the Wood, The Beer tour when Jess and Helen came to visit, Camping at Plunge in August, etc. Best ones: “White Man Can't Schlong”, “Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Schlong”, “Schlong Me if You Can”

The Two-Year Presidential Election Drinking Tournament/Game, all over the country
Key: That's exactly it: Started in January of 2007 and will go til November of 2008. It's like the NCAA basketball bracket, but it's with Presidential candidates, and instead of brackets there are categories (“Most likely to drop out first”, “Most likely to drop out due to scandal”, “Most likely to win Iowa”, “Most likely to be endorsed by Chuck Norris” etc) basically it's an excuse for my nerd friends to send out links to news articles with the word “DRINK!” in the same email. Well done to the founders (here's to us, Murphy).

Friend of the Year:
Caroline McGlade.
Key: She let me move in with her and Chris with about two hours notice and let me stay for three weeks and found me a roommmate. That's a good friend. “Aww look...wings...and beer...again,”, Yatzee night, rap sung as opera, “Knick knack paddy wack lock you in the mango room.”, songs about Homer, etc.

Biggest Surprise:
Sudden boyfriend, July, Asheville.
Key: it's me--that doesn't happen often. I'm picky and impatient. Brief, brilliant, thanks for coming, enjoy the veal. See? I told you I wasn't asexual. Truly was unexpected.

Best Waste of a Day:
Robin and Spooner kill and entire day “unpacking” Robin's new house, Swannaowa, October
Key: Super Nintendo All Stars, Pecan Pocket Pies from the “drawer”, PBR in a can, a “ghost in the house”, uncontrollable giggles, “Shut up and tell me another funny story,” getting very little done and loving it. And then there was the 3D Seamonsters/Sonic day...Robin is the best Loafing partner EVER.

Best Visitor:
I love any and all visitors. You should be one too, but there is a winner: Liz Watkins.
Key: Harry Potter books at Midnight, drum circle, rootball, eating while not talking, getting to see my BFF after a year and a half, Nashville in half a day, watching Robin and Liz interact. Seriously, it's astounding.

Best Care Package:
Leslie's assignment care package, lovingly prepared by Robin and Spooner, July
Key: Glass Jesus candle, potted meat, Misty cigarettes, 4 bottles o' fun, BFF socks, absolutely nothing useful. And she opened it in front of summer staffers. Suckas.

Most Random Daytrip:
Driving to Clemson with Robin to surprise her brother on his 21^st birthday, November
Key: We didn't know how to get to Clemson or where he lived once we got there (“You actually own an ATLAS!?”), $3.75 pitcher of Yuengling, the Brandt phone call, the carbomb race, the dorito crushing fight, being on our way home by 8:15. Awesome. Happy 21^st Ben.

Best Text Message:
Leslie's lesson the morning after the Swanky Holiday Party, December, Asheville
Key: “Thank you all for reminding me I should never drink liquor again.” a sentiment echoed by many, many others. And she meant every word.

Best Kings Rule/Category:
Katherine's rule making all the boys fashion hats out of aluminum foil that had to be sexual in nature that they had to wear the rest of the night, August, Plunge camping trip.
Key: Ian made his a pope hat and argued successfully for it's phallic undertones, watching Nate wear aluminum foil boobs on his head.

Worst Oversight:
Not being able to see Hatcher enough this year to have her be on this list as much as previous years.
Key: I last saw her in March. But I got great texts about Homeowner Steve at the Waterford Fair. And I heard her Pecan Pie won 3^rd place at the LoCo fair. It's a darn good pie my friends. Darn good.

Best “Celebrity” Run-in:
The firemen on Lexington, 'Sanne's Birthday, March, Asheville, NC
Key: Julie being convinced we were going to get arrested for “interfering with an officer in the line of duty”, the police officers volunteering to take the photos, the really hot firemen giving 'Sanne props to hold, the best introduction to 26 that I can think of.

Best Moment While Working in Maintenance for Three Months:
Re-building the shed around Well B at Windy Gap, August.
Key: Dan (middle-aged, bald, rotund local) is holding a wall up from the outside while the rest of us try to bolt it to the floor. It's about 97 degrees out and he is sweating profusely. Suddenly, out of the hole in the wall that is inches from his face, a snake appears. It sticks its head out of the hole and just stares Dan in the eye, while he is screaming “GET THE SNAKE! GET THE SNAKE!” and he can't move or the wall will fall on him. It really was quite hilarious. And it was a pretty big snake.

Best “What!?” Afternoon (Tie):
The attempted kayaking trip to the Tuck with Jane and Josh, July, somewhere west of Asheville.
Key: Navy woody wagoneer breaks down 40 miles outside of Asheville and only 5 miles from river at Annie's, a convenience store/cafe/biker bar where we are stranded for 4 hours before the most uncomfortable tow truck ride ever. Quote, “Well...I'm getting a beer.” --Josh, 11am.

Borrowing Nathan's Jeep, March, Purcellville, VA
Key: having the Jeep die on the exit ramp at Rt 7/287 in VA, getting gently rammed to the side of the road by a state trooper who didn't want to push me because it was raining and he didn't want to get dirty, having a tow truck guy I've known since kindergarten, having to hug his mom once we got back to the station, remembering I grew up in a SMALL town.

Best Social Gathering:
The Swanky holiday party at the Harmon House, December, Asheville, NC
Key: 50-some friends in various stages of swank converge to drink too many martinis, eat schweaty balls, beagle dicks and other inappropriately named appetizers, dance, mingle and stay up to ridiculous hours of the night. Nate wins as the most swanky (the velvet smoking jacket, ascot and mistletoe hat really put it over the edge) but the bling pops that Doug brought the girls were priceless. And all the text messages the next day really summed it up well. Most started with “I don't really remember but...”

Catch phrases and notable quotes of 2007:
“It's too hot for pants.” --Jane
“This salad is Bigots!” (and the subsequent “Eat your salad, Rosa Parks!”) --Murphy
The Chad DeVoe T-shirts—Joyce, Murphy, et al.
“And Jesus said, 'Zacheus, puff puff give, man!'” --Doug
“Oh sorry...bible joke.” -Me (to Robin)
“Give a shout out....TO JESUS!” --Leah
“I think he's talking about her jugs.” --'Sanne
“I've got a peeping tom and I'm going to have nightmares about zombies. I'm fucked.”--Rita

Also should be noted that 2007 brought my first trip to Dollywood, my first experience with both fried pickles and moonshine, no new nieces and nephews, a new official hometown, my first experience getting robbed, my first experience not quite getting fired, two months of unemployment, my first experience getting dumped, six weddings, two new jobs and tons of new friends. All in all, a great year. Here's to 2007 and I can't wait for '08!

Aged, Old, Classic, Bold

My father got a cool little gadget that scans old slides and can make them into .jpegs, which is one of the better little gadgets I've seen in quite a while. Being on holiday here, I hooked the gizmo up to my lappy 9000 and scanned in a few...from 1981 to 1983. Thought I'd share 'em. The problem is for Christmas I took a bunch of old slides and had them printed and framed for both my parents, then I get home and discover my father can basically do it himself. Oh well.
The first photo is my mom with my older sister, and she's about 7 months pregnant with me at the time. I love it. She was so hippie-tastic.
This is my Boppa and my namesake on our annual Canadian camping trip in 1983. I've always thought he very much looked the part of a grandfather, pipe and all.

My sister and I brushing our teeth during a rainy day in Canada. My sister's hair is so short she looks like a boy. And if you look closely, you'll see my yellow raincoat's hood is duct-taped smaller to fit my head. Thanks parents. I love this shot.Same rainy day, Bubby and I sitting next to the kitchen tent, cold metal mugs in hand. Also a funny shot. I guess my dad was having fun with the camera that day. I only vaguely remember parts of the trip. Like what my bathing suit looked like (navy blue with a giant red crab on it), and that little blue hoodie I'm wearing, and that I was sick and on antibiotics and it was very cold.
Napping in the tent. That rabbit that's sitting on top of me? That's Hop-Hop. My oldest sister gave him to me on my 1st birthday. As I write this that very same rabbit is sitting on my bed in my house in Asheville, as I still sleep with him somewhere near me. And I think I still sleep like this. Guess my sleep pattern peaked at age 3.

My two older sisters and me and my Boppa relax on a bench my dad had built and my Uncle Pete had covered in sheep skins from Chile. When we go to Canada we go for weeks at a time, so the family sorta moves into the place. Build shelves, furniture, etc. All out of dead wood of course.

Seriously, I was a cute kid. Who liked rocks and fire. Some things never change. And there in the background is my Boppa, whom I miss terribly. He died five years ago.

Keep 'Em in My Pocket

If you don't think these are some of the cutest kids you've ever seen...well...check yo'self. My nieces and nephews, complete with their firehats (can you tell which one is an only child? Yeah.) Meet Lilia Grace, Luc, Olivia and Thud (Gabriel). Such a madhouse with all of them running around. Whew. Merry Christmas, loyal reader!

Hidden Words

When Paul W. got married last year, my dear friend Brandt was the best man. We were sitting at the bar at the reception and a group of us decided to give Brandt a list of words that he had to incorporate into his best man speech, without it being obvious. Each person contributed one word (couldn't be dirty) and they included:
Encyclopedia
Lumberjack
Nimble
Delicious
Barracuda
and a few others...but you get the point. Funniest best man speech I have ever heard. I was literally crying I was laughing so hard. Well, last week Brandt got engaged. And Paul is going to be his best man. Seth (the four of us have been friends for over a decade) just sent me his list of potential words, which are:

• Hierarchical
• Entrepreneurial
• Conshohocken
• Hamburgerler
• Panini
• Buxom
• Cavalier
• Prance
• Ye

I read the email and burst out laughing in the middle of the coffee shop. My suggestions are all from the unromantic dictionary, but I feel strongly that Seth's list is quite complete.
Splay
Cockroach
Mermaid
Amalgamate

What else do ya'll suggest? Remember, these are going into a best man speech. It's fun to have the list and check them off as he uses them. Hilarious.

Junk, Stuff, Other

So our Quizzo team came in 2^nd place Monday night. That is the highest we've ever scored, and we won $20 in gift certificates. Go us. Though Jane and I have decided we should call it Quizz-O 210 (like 90210 only more Ashevillian) because of the drama that seems to occur with the group of regulars we have. And unfortunately by drama I mean it is usually concerning me. Crap.

Yet another thing I learned from the party on Saturday: “Loose lips sink ships” and if that's true there's an admiral out there who is pissed off at me for sinking his entire fleet. I have no filter about myself. Not good. So if I told you something on Saturday that sounds like it may be one of my own personal secrets, zip it friend. Thanks. Yup, never running for public office or joining the FBI. Whew.

Another song to never play at a wedding: “Nasty” by Janet Jackson

The other night I had a dream in which Ronald McDonald was sitting on top of a refrigerator in a tiny basement apartment playing the pan flute while I sang “Forever in Blue Jeans” by Neil Diamond. I can assure you I was neither on drugs or drunk when I had this dream. Something may be seriously wrong with my subconscious.

Yesterday my mom excitedly called me to tell me she had big news about two of my friends getting engaged. I told her I knew, that I'd actually helped with some of the planning of the proposal; that they'd called me the next morning. She seemed very disappointed that she couldn't provide gossip about my own friends, both of whom she doesn't actually know. Well done Mom, well done.

So all five of the kids are going to be together right before Christmas. This hasn't happened since 2001 and has only ever happened twice. For good reason. I'm bringing the following: (A) a helmet. (B) flask. (C) iPod. (D) camera. And not only will there be the five of us, but one in-law, four small children and my mother. Wow. Callin' Maury Povich, see if he makes house calls.

It's official: I am finally working at J.Crew. Only took a month and a half. Literally. You'd think I was trying to go be professor or a secret agent, but no, just a retail lackey at a clearance store. Start on Thursday.

“The glorious message of Scripture is that we do not have to be perfect for our Maker to love us. All through the great stories, heavenly love is lavished on visibly imperfect people. Scripture asks us to look at Jacob as he really is, to look at ourselves as we really are, and then realize that this is who God loves.” --Madeline L'Engle. I posted this one when she died back in October, but I find it so applicable to my present. There are days when my imperfections and missteps are more glaring and those days have been frequent as of late. It's good to be reminded that even as I am at those moments, I am loved.

Ain't No Party Like A Harmon St. Party

Ok, so here are some photos from the night. Everyone was nothing but classy. That I recall at least. First: Margarita and I dance up the kitchen. In a classy way. Nate, the winner of the most swanky award. I mean, that's swanky. And Becca looks so focused at the table of magic/bad decisions.
Nate, Leslie Doug and I are probably discussing the situation in Darfur. Or Obama and Oprah.
Dan is always swave with the smart Quizzo ladies like Jane and Margarita.
Dear Robin: Thank you for capturing in one photo the awkwardness of my night. I can't imagine this being more clear. Just...wow. You are gifted friend, totally gifted.

A Recap (From What I Can Tell)

Holy Crap.

Now THAT was a weekend.

Saturday night was the Swanky Martini Christmas Party and here is what you need to know about it:

1. Just because people are dressed up doesn't mean they won't make asses of themselves

2. We are a generation who has no idea how to drink/handle liquor. We know beer and wine but liquor? Enigma. Whoa.

3. Parties may start out classy but inevitably it will distill down to booty dancing to something by Fergie or loud sing-a-longs to old Whitney.

4. We had appetizers that were called beagle dicks and schweaty balls. And we said these with straight faces. While drinking something classy and dainty.

5. That was more quadrangle (thank you Liz) drama than I wanted or needed. Thank you, Swanky Christmas Party for reminding me that I'm much better off single.

And there is much more but I'll wait to post pictures of that. Cuz pictures are needed. Or not needed actually, but help with the story. Cuz it's a little fuzzy for part of it.

Come Away From It

There is something frustratingly powerless and ultimately futile about loving someone who doesn't love themselves, or who loves in a self-destructive and narcissistic way, the way a snake loves the mouse that shares its cage. But each time the best of you wants to believe they will change, that this time is different, that this is the moment the truth is out; that they've finally reached rock bottom. Each time you dutifully take the words and promises like communion. And each time they prove you wrong, they let you down and they leave nothing but destruction in their path. They tornado through the very people who love them. They wring out the very best of your intentions and leave you broken and exhausted, but somehow leave just enough hope for the next time they come around. They are easy to like and impossibly hard to love. They are addicts, manics, pathological liars and sometimes, all three. You don't know whether to hug them and cry or punch them in the face and walk out. Is it possible to do both?

I'm so tired and frustrated and there is nothing I want less than that person anywhere near the people I love, even as I love that person wholeheartedly. I don't want to literally drive into that tornado in a few weeks. Where are the boundaries with a person who has no regard for them? Where do you say, “enough is enough” when life without them is impossible, when there aren't ties that can be cut? How do you love them as Christ loves them and yet not be consumed? This is something I have openly run from and yet here it is again, same person, same situation, different year. Ugh.

Fill a Cup

So I had to go take a drug test today for the potential J.Crew job. "Pee in a cup? Sure. No problem." Right?
Wrong.
So I go to the drug place on McDowell/Asheland around noon. I didn't have coffee this morning because I knew I had a drug test and didn't want to taint it. So I get there and...
I can't pee.
Can't. Nothin' going.
And I can't drink a ton of water or I will dilute it.
So I sit there for about 20 minutes, trying to talk myself into having to alleviate some bladder pressure and I think I'm ready to go.
I try.
Not enough.
Back to the waiting room.
FOR ALMOST TWO HOURS.
I read Consumer Reports, Star, two different US News and World Reports and part of a Ladies Home Journal. And I talked to the nice nurse about college pricing and she told me I wouldn't have this problem if I had kids. So THAT's what I need to do next time I need to take a drug test. Have a kid first. Super, that's good advice. Why didn't they have that in Ladies Home Journal? Coulda saved me a ton of time.

Forever in Blue Jeans

The “Choose Cheesy” mix is a little over a year old (Thank you to Erin Hatcher for inspiring the mix and then saying, “Yeah you say these songs are cheesy...I don't. I say AMAZING.”) and I have to say, it has only gotten better with time (and it's expanded). It is a uniter, and I have yet to find a song that is more fun to sing loudly (with dramatic hand motions) while driving alone as “The Greatest Love of All” by Whitney “Crack is Whack” Houston. I mean really...it is so much fun it should be banned. I've given out multiple copies of the “Choose Cheesy” mix because it works so well in so many situations. I decided if I ever get married several of the songs from the Choose Cheesy mix will be incorporated into the reception playlist for three reasons:

1. Sheer Awesomeness.

2. Getting everyone onto the dance floor to sing them loudly. Like Romano and I will most certainly do our duet version of “Don't Go Breakin' My Heart”, and pretty much everyone I have ever known EVER will be out there to sing “Eternal Flame” and “I Think We're Alone Now” complete with dramatic hand motions, as most Cheesy songs dictate (And “Nothin's Gonna Stop Us Now” will be a solo performance by Liz)

3. Because when people all end up out on a dance floor, drinking and singing loudly, it breaks down barriers, creates strong memories and unites a group and I want a wedding that is a community event, not little separate groups. Music can be a very powerful tool, even if it is “Glory of Love” that is doing it. And dammit it's my fictional wedding, I plan to lose my voice from singing and pull all sorts of muscles dancing...not that kind of dancing you dirty dirty person.

All that to say: Cheesy songs have a great worth in uniting by agreement; pretty much everyone can say “Karma Chameleon” is cheesy, but that fact makes singing it all the more silly and fun. Actually knowing the words to the song is both an admission and a call to community. See? Now you can say knowing all the words to “Time After Time” has a higher altruistic purpose. Look at you, community builder. Hey, if you fall I will catch you, I will be waiting.

(sidebar: Ever notice that Jennifer Warnes sang both “Up Where We Belong” and “I've Had the Time of My Life”? How did this woman get on two of the most amazing cheesy songs of the 80s? Who is she? Does Jennifer Warnes have a superhero power of “Cheesy Yet Iconic Motion Picture Soundtrack Duets”? I wonder if in the 90s she embarked on a solo career and changed her name to Celine Dion in order to sing “My Heart Will Go On”. Probably.)