Last year my friend Jenny told me that 23 was my Jordan year (as in Michael, THE #23 of basketball) and that it would prove to be great. This year Jenny, Grafton and I sat outside with cigars and beer, looking at the stars, smiling and laughing how time changes us.
23 had a great start to it, but proved to be probably the toughest year of my life so far.
23 was a very real cancer scare. 23 was quitting jobs and Summer staff. 23 was buying my first car. 23 was moving, lots of rejection, and heartache that I cannot begin to fully understand. 23 was the loss of dear friendships and the birth of relationships that are diamonds in the rough. 23 was another year of watching parental ambitions decay. 23 was just hard all around--it wasn't the monumental, it was the day to day hits. I have never felt so alone.
I wish I could say I have major goals and/or expectations for 24, but I really don't. Everything that I had planned to be at 24 has faded, faltered, or fallen away, and I'm gradually learning to be ok with having my perfect ideas not be the be all end all. I'm learning to place my ambitions and ideas above the not-so-even keel that is life. I do believe that there is a plan for my life; I'm just tired of trying to write my own roadmap to happiness.
So here's to you, 24! My Jeff Gordon year (whenever you say this, Grafton throws up a little bit in his mouth...I suggest you try it). will be grand, will foster growth, maturity, hilarity, tears, love, heartbreak, frustration, mistakes, embarrassment, anecdotes and nostalgia that I can only imagine right now. I'm cautiously optimistic.
Day synopsis:
It started out well--early this morning I was roused by the doorbell, and there was Hatcher with a feather boa and a crown that said "I RULE", waking me up, forcing me to get dressed and go out for coffee and breakfast with Natalie. It was wonderful, albeit a bit stressful for me pre-coffee. Not gonna lie, almost cried.
Got tons of voice mails, IMs, cards and thoughts from friends far and wide, and could feel the love, which was the best gift so far.
Went out for ice cream with youngest sister and oldest sister (age gap: 21 years), 2-year-old niece, mother and step-father. Niece is amazing. Love the niece.
Went to Graftons. Had cigars. Got goodie bag of glowing things from Jenny. Spent 20 minutes with the lights off, trying to play catch with a flashing red bouncy ball and matching strobe rings. Giggled incessantly. Knew then that the year of maturity would be at bay for just a little while longer.
And that, I think, is the most optimistic part of the whole process. At least I'm still giggling.
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