Bounce

The other day I wrote about fighting the frustration of pain and its control over my life.
Today the struggle was compounded.
As the possibility of a quick-fix dims, the prospect of a long-term rehabilitation becomes the only option to the seemingly impossible conclusion of chronic, life-long back pain. It cannot be door #2, thus it must be door #1. It cannot be door #2 because I cannot handle even the remotest of chances that that could be the only ending. It cannot be door #2 because I am young, and I should bounce back; I am one who bounces back. This is a shot to the pride as much as it is a side-step on my road to recovery, and I am a prideful person. But last night as I was praying, I asked God to take away the pain, and if that wasn't part of the plan, then to give me the ability to work with it and not let it drive me insane. The only thing I know right now is he will be faithful to answer that prayer. It will take more grace than I can fathom to live with this forever, grace that I clearly do not have. I want to be useful in whatever capacity he would have for me.
Thursday I go in for a bone scan, a 3-4 hour process of an injection of low-level radiation and a full-body scan, so as to get a more detailed view of any abnormalities in my body. It will detect tumors, degenerations, hairline fractures or disc problems, and hopefully will shed light on the path of plan B, which I plead will lead to door #1 and the ability to live without pain once again. I am young; I will bounce.