By Grace My Sight Grows Stronger

This morning I had my mp3s on shuffle and "Philosophy of Loss" by the Indigo Girls came on. It was the secret song on their 1999 album and every time I listen to it the words slay me. In the song, Emily Sailers writes,
"Modern scribes write
In Jesus Christ everyone is free
And the doors open wide to all straight men and women
But they are not open to me..."
The first time I heard that I think I cried. I want to scream. I am a Christian, but it seems the only thing I agree with other Christians about is Christ. I am strongly convicted by certain social issues, issues that I believe are greater than the right/wrong polarity the "religious right" make them out to be. Thing is, I have to believe that Christ is greater than the gay-marriage debate, the abortion debate, the Iraq war, the red state/blue state battle. If I don't believe that---well, I don't know what would happen. My convictions or my beliefs? I don't want to simply accept that the doors should be closed for anyone, I cannot gloss over the idea that certain "sins" can be seen as ok, while others are grounds for ostracizing everyone else. I am a sinner! Kick me out! The Apostle Paul spent his life killing Christians before his conversion, yet wrote most of the New Testament. In 1 Corinthians 15:10 he says, "But by the grace of God I am what I am, and his grace to me was not without effect." Why then, have we lost this ability to see everyone around us as works in progress, as beautifully imperfect? By the grace of God I am what I am--who are you to say that that grace is not without effect? Let grace be effective and the world will change.
I should say that I do not believe, to any degree, that homosexuality is a sin. At all. I am vehement in this. I considered volunteering in ministry but wavered when I read what they wanted me to sign, stating that homosexuality was a sin. I cannot--I will not--put my name on that which I am fighting against. But I look at those I love who are gay--family included--and my heart breaks at the religious rejection they face. It is a struggle to put my name into the group that can look my brother in the eye and say he is not welcome into the house of God, simply because he is himself. Why is it that what I have done is forgivable, but who he is can be unacceptable? He is my brother, and I know, with my whole heart, that he is loved by Christ.
And how dare you to tell him otherwise.