Shifting Gears

So umm...I sorta got fired today.
Well, "fired" is a strange way to put it--I'm no longer a summer intern, so I'm no longer running the ropes program at Windy Gap, but they want me to stay on in a staff position as long as I want it, I just have to move off camp and not do the summer internship program. Both of those things I'm happy for: no more of the big brother babysitting stuff that comes from being a summer intern and I don't have to live in a room with three much younger girls (I should note that I love those girls, I just feel a little old for it). The hard part is leaving the ropes; I was really, really looking forward to it. I had that place ready to go and I don't get to see the fruits of my labor there. And I just bought a new $80 harness. That sucks. I had a great team to work with. But they want me to stay on, which is weird. They know how hard I work and I'm good at my job so they don't want to let me go, but I'm not spiritually in a place to do the internship to the degree that it should be done. I have a meeting with them Monday to discuss options with the staying on thing. I don't know if I want to stay on or not; I do but I don't. I simply can't force myself to mix the personal and professional; I don't know how to function in place where everything is basically on the record. I don't mean that as a knock on them, I mean it simply as two very different ways of processing and living. I can't do that.
I know it's the right decision for literally everyone involved, from the campers and summer staff to the property staff to me. I mean, when they told me I was...relieved. That itself is a sign that it is right. So right now I'm in the process of packing and moving...again. Effin' moving.
I already have some great options for places to live and some jobs lining up, but I kind of want to spend this time to figure out what the hell it is I actually want to do, as I simply don't know or even know where to start.
This is the beginning of 26. It'll be an adventure.