I haven't posted in a while--its not that I haven't had anything to say, in fact it's quite the opposite. I've had too much to say, too much thought, too much action, too much change. I don't know where to begin to wrangle and wrestle such unbroken ideas into sentences or linear thought.
I am in New York now. Wow. I have an apartment. I have a roommate. I don't have classes. I am doing what grown ups do. Overwhelming in its own regard. And what of leaving? Crabfest was the closest thing I may ever come to having a wedding reception--it was some of my favorite people on the planet gathered together to finally meet face to face. It brought tears to my eyes to even consider it a possibility. My sister will be 11 on Friday and I am there no longer. At the time in her life when a big sister may matter the most I am 500 miles away. Do I trust God to love and hold her close as the vines of self-doubt and teenagerdom threaten to strangle her innocence and trust? Oh hold her close, I love that little girl.
It's hard--I go through bouts of lonliness and overwhelming meloncholy--but if this is indeed the place I am to be in my life, then here I will stay, sensitive to the next bold move.
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