Shot Down

First off, Weirdly-Named Towns of NY:
Amagansett
Antwerp
Cahoonzie
Asharoken

Anyway, hi kiddies, how are ya. I know that was supposed to be a question mark, but it was said in a manner more befitting a period. So today is a day off (finally) and I'm pouring through all this grad school/GRE stuff, trying to make sense of what the mother I want to do in my future. This whole process (especially in creative writing) is so...vunerable. I'm realizing that my future, in order to get where I want to go, is going to include a whole truckload of rejection. I have said that I'd like to be ok with rejection but I never have been too good at it. I'm so afraid of failure that oftentimes I've turned down opportunities just so I wouldn't experience that potential letdown. How sad. This year I said I was going to embrace sucking at things, and rejection is part of sucking at things, so that's my plan. It's all about worth in its own way. I sincerely want to see my worth in things less ephermeral and more and more in the love I have in Christ; so easily said, so difficultly done. (Is difficultly a word? I just made it one. It's an adverb. Use it today.) With all that said, here's a question: How does self-confidence and worth in Christ intermingle? If I believe that apart from Christ I can do nothing, then what exactly is self-confidence anyway?
Regardless, to sum up: I'm going to put myself out there a lot and get rejected a lot in the coming months. I'm going to go out there, write my best and suck at it most of the time. But my worth will not diminish. I think.
This was a personal peptalk if you couldn't tell. Go team.