Three Conversations About One Thing

These past few days have produced conversations (three of them, in fact) that initially seemed to be about separate things but that, when left to simmer, distilled to the same basic blocks...or at least I made them do that. The first was a conversation with a friend who seemed to have an intense desire to talk about anything and everything that was not personal or deep in any way. It was possibly the most consciously shallow conversation I have ever had. The second dealt with self-worth, and how it effects all relationships. The third dealt with knowing someone, and being known by them (not in a biblical sense, you perv).
The shallow conversation was interesting because as I sat there listening to my friend ramble on, I could hear so clearly what was subsurface. I could peel back the epidermis, see past the subcutaneous to the muscle and bone. I listened and I loved them for it. I realized how well I knew my friend, but wondered how well they knew me. Could they see through me as well? This question flowed into the third conversation, dealing with being known. Call me a cynic but I don't really think it's possible to truly be known by someone; to have them see right through your guises, insecurities, walls and wars. They may recongize them and be able to reach through them at times, but I don't think it's possible to be known. Communication gets in the way, as does our own filters, our own insecurities and our own desire to be known. My friend disagrees. She's too much of a sun-shiny optimist on this. That second conversation is what I think it all boils down to: self-worth. We hide because we fear rejection, we fear loneliness, we fear being known and having that not be enough. We become jealous, we grumble, we stare in the mirror, we furrow. We lose friends and relationships because of it. If only we could look at ourselves--that naked little spirit that sings quietly for the fear of its own voice--get past the bravado, the strut, the dismissals, the silence--and be. I remember realizing the difference between self-confidence and self-esteem and being floored. To me self-confidence is the belief in what you are capable of and self-esteem is the belief in the worth of who you are.
I dunno.