Dear LaDainian Tomlinson and Randy Moss,
You are the two anchors of my fantasy teams. Keep those knees healthy and those touchdowns coming, I need affirmation in life.
Love,
Spooner
Dear makers of Trivial Pursuit,
WTF? Where'd you go?
The whole point of board games is playing them WITHOUT electricity, so making a DVD version is STUPID. Come back, and bring your smug questions with you.
Love,
Spooner
Dear Narcolepsy,
Not cool.
Love,
Spooner
Dear Art Monk and Darrell Green,
Thank you for making me cry for the first time in months. And for those 20 years of awesome footballness for the 'Skins. Congrats on making it to the Hall of Fame. Fight for ol' DC, boys!
Love,
Spooner
Dear Pear Vodka,
Mixing you with anything makes you still suck.
No offense.
Love,
Spooner
Dear friends,
Next time I wear my contacts, don't stare and tell me "You look weird." I'm not Clark Kent, I look the same. Just without glasses.
Love,
Spooner
5 comments:
Dear Spooner,
I enjoy your musings. I cannot wait to meet you and beat you at trivial pursuit...old school style.
Kelly
i love you for this.
you are very cute.
& i miss seeing your little ass. (for real).
xoxoxo
Dear Ice Cream Truck Man,
Thank you for blaring "The Entertainer" by Joplin over and over and over while I was trying to take a nap. Normally I would say that ragtime wasn't good music to take a nap to, but in this case I would say it is definitely not something that is soothing or sleep inducing at all. Thanks for that.
Love,
Spooner
PS do you actually make enough money selling ice cream to keep in business or do you supplement with drugs, like I suspect? Also, what do I need to order from you to get drugs, I've always wanted to know.
Dear Kelly,
Bring it on sucka.
I gots the Trivial and I'm not afraid to use it.
As long as you don't bring pear vodka with you we will have a grand ol' time.
Love,
Spooner
Wow -- someone named "klynch" just totally challenged you to a duel. Now, "klynch," please clarify if you mean the Genus Edition. And if so, you better brush up on your Canadian knowledge.
Also: can I play?
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