I Wanna Dance Wit Somebody

Last night I ended up having an impromptu dance party with Katie, Liz B, a large exercise ball and old Whitney Houston.
Other people were there too.
Like Jay-Z and Beyonce.
And we also played Marry-Boff-Kill for easily two hours.
A fabulous game if you ask me.
I am easily entertained; this I know. But for a long time I didn't dance enough (much to the chagrin of people like Caroline, for whom my mad dance skills contain high entertainment value), didn't play enough, wasn't comfortable enough to go with being stupid like that. I was too self-conscious.
And to be honest I'm still not completely comfortable with it, but I'm trying.

GAMES!

In honor of the graciousness Leslie showed me with the gift of Trivial Pursuit, 20th Anniversary Edition (and the smack talking from Kelly and Emilie) I've decided to take a long hard look at the games in my life, those I love and those I don't. It's an important thing to reflect upon.
And so, dear readers, a list.

Games I do not actually enjoy:

Settlers of Cattan. No offense to Marystuart or the McGlades but I seriously don't like this game. Maybe it's because I only tried it once, but I have the attention span of a goldfish...can't handle something this focused. Don't give a crap if I have enough wood or rocks or whatever to build whatever I'm supposed to build. To help with this point, I'd like to reference Robin's blogpost (scroll down, it's funny) about our experience trying to play Settlers last summer. It was when I knew Robin and I would be good friends, and when "bible joke" became a, well, joke.

War Games. Maybe it's cuz I was too young, but come on, Matthew Broderick, it's a computer. It can't be worse than Windows Vista.

Mind Games. Not the kind like "Simon" where you had to push the colors and remember the "beep boo bah beep beep" noise and color combo, that game...kicked its ass. I spanked that sucka. No I mean the kind people play on each other. That'll drive you nuts.

Monopoly. Why must this game take 47 years to play? Can't it just be quick? Can't my sister not be the banker and steal money and property when I wasn't looking (oh wait, I did that. Pays to be the less ADHD person in the fam)? Can't I not end up with Oriental Place and instead get something nice, like Indiana or Kentucky? Why does my sister get to be the scottie and I have to be the boot? This game sucks. Anything involving math or finance isn't fun.

Foolish Games. I'm sorry Jewel, but you are annoying as crap. I mean I owned "Pieces of You" just like everyone else, and Foolish Games isn't nearly as bad as "Hands" but still, that song sucks. Why is taking a coat off and standing in the rain "crazy like that"? Maybe he was hot. Maybe it was a leather coat. He's got reasons. Leave him be, Jewel.

Reindeer Games. Can't remember who was in this movie, but I think it's Ben Affleck and therefore it probably sucked. I have a sort of love/hate thing with Ben Affleck. It's complicated.

Twister. If I wanted physical contact from strangers I'd offer them tequila. Point is, I don't want physical contact. I don't think having some guy named Steve's armpit sitting on my eyeball is a "good time". That is not fun. I don't want Steve's socks anywhere near my face, no matter what the friggin' spinner is telling me to do.

Operation. If I wanted to play a game that would show me how not right I am for a certain occupation I'd play Risk or Guitar Hero or Sim City. This game just says, "Hey shaky hands, I got something new for you to suck at!" Listen, Operation man: You are overweight, you got shit stuck all in your body, your bones are remarkably disproportional and judging by the color of that schnoz of yours you've probably been hittin' the bottle a little too hard. I ain't helping you, jackass. I'm keeping my shaky hands to my self.

The Game. I think you were some member of 50 Cent's entourage. That's all I know, and that's all I want to know. Entourages shouldn't step out from entouraging.

The Game of Life. This game always pissed me off because I was a tiny pink stick person in a convertible who had to get married and have lots of babies and then go around to giant plastic houses and deal with money. If I wanted to play that game, I'd grow up.

Postcards

Dear LaDainian Tomlinson and Randy Moss,
You are the two anchors of my fantasy teams. Keep those knees healthy and those touchdowns coming, I need affirmation in life.
Love,
Spooner

Dear makers of Trivial Pursuit,
WTF? Where'd you go?
The whole point of board games is playing them WITHOUT electricity, so making a DVD version is STUPID. Come back, and bring your smug questions with you.
Love,
Spooner

Dear Narcolepsy,
Not cool.
Love,
Spooner

Dear Art Monk and Darrell Green,
Thank you for making me cry for the first time in months. And for those 20 years of awesome footballness for the 'Skins. Congrats on making it to the Hall of Fame. Fight for ol' DC, boys!
Love,
Spooner

Dear Pear Vodka,
Mixing you with anything makes you still suck.
No offense.
Love,
Spooner

Dear friends,
Next time I wear my contacts, don't stare and tell me "You look weird." I'm not Clark Kent, I look the same. Just without glasses.
Love,
Spooner

Teaser for the Day

So I first came across this back in high school and still think it's pretty amazing.
It was originally written in 1940 by a French Professor as an example of how an idea or thought in English can be conveyed using words that sound similar to the intended words. I think it's interesting. So here is the test...what story is being told here?

"Wants pawn term, dare worsted ladle gull hoe lift wetter murder inner ladle cordage, honor itch off lodge, dock florist. Disk ladle gull orphan worry putty ladle rat cluck wetter ladle rat hut, and fur disk raisin, pimple colder Ladle Rat Rotten Hut.Wan moaning, Ladle Rat Rotten Hut's murder colder inset."Ladle Rat Rotten Hut, heresy ladle basking winsome burden barter and shirker cockles. Tick disk ladle basking tutor cordage offer groin-murder hoe lifts honor udder site offer florist. Shaker lake! Dun stopper laundry wrote! Dun stopper peck floors! Dun daily-doily inner florist, an yonder nor sorghum-stenches, dun stoper torque wet strainers!""Hoe-cake, murder," resplendent Ladle Rat Rotten, and tickle ladle basking an stutter oft.Honor wrote tutor cordage offer groin-murder, Ladle Rat Rotten Hut mitten anomalous woof."

There's no reward for getting it right...just the satisfaction of gettting it. Try reading this outloud for both entertainment and for help in figuring it out.